t h e c r e e c h l e a g u e

Handel's Story.

2011-02-14T15:36:00.001-06:00

Handel's Coronation Anthem, in three movements.

just back in december i had the opportunity to collaborate on the Briercrest Christmas Celebration as a Vison Team member and contributing artist. My task was to listen to the music selections, and to put something on to 3 large screens, that would sit behind the choir and be the entire backdrop for the Celebration.
Paired with our lighting design, there would be no decoration in the gigantic modern hildebrand chapel. It was a new direction for the Christmas Celebration, so the stakes were high.

I chose to complete animations in Apple's Motion for the screens, treating them as one large surface.

The night opened with Handel's Coronation Anthem, and i listened to it endlessly.
When it came time to assign imagery, the song, more than any other in the Celebration spoke itself into a story in my mind.

All i could see when i heard the piece was the Biblical Creation Account, Genesis 1-2. I saw the hebrew words (i studied ancient-hebrew in college) and the complex ideas show in their ancient script that is lost to our roman alphabet. I saw colors and the flow of creation and redemption, as told from long ago.

the first movement jumps and is full of a wandering and busy Joy, i see the rainbow split from threads from the darkness, circling out and sizing out the seen spectrum. the spectrum breaks into deeply contrasting lights as light and dark are created. A cloud and blue of day, a black and red for night. the white of cloud, the dark coffee-bean brown of soil and the clear highlights of water come together until the earth floats in the stars and in the song takes us at the end of the movement to a grove a trees that fall behind us as we move through the deep of them.

It all gets dark and blue for the second movement, and we see adam and eve, happy and in white, against the sad movement that already has let out the news of their fated fall from joy and grace. they are in love and soon, as the choir's song vamps, they are ashamed and blaming, and running.
the end of the second movement they are caught under the eye of a powerful God.

The third movement is moving through the trees again only now they are winter white and spring is breaking through and all turns green and gold.
This is the royal end and the redemption and reuniting of adam and eve, and God and humanity.

The song is such a story, with beginning middle and end, and my interpretation likely will never leave me, despite anything Handel ever intended.

If it's a coronation, it is the story of the prodigal son who returns home after taking his father's inheritance before he dies and squandering it- only for his father to throw the greatest of feasts for him and setting a crown on his head.

Something Missing

2011-02-14T14:53:00.001-06:00

Here is the scene:
It was twice a weekday, morning and evening, I'd drive down the Canada HWY 1 in an old Honda station-wagon hatchback from 89.
Take a picture of that, as i did every now and then, stopping on the side of the road. something is missing.
Look closely at the image, all twelve mega-pixels worth, see the rough texture of the dashboard as i drive, or the rusty edges of the hood. The image is clear, but the experience and emotion is lost.
That is not the emotion created while driving in the Honda (Goof-Troop, i called it).
To have the full experience, you need the thick drone of the tries against the pavement, the occasional squeaks in the shocks. You need the raspy hum of the motor, and vibrating rattle of the doors and windows. it all feels incomplete without that whirring fan pumping the hot air around my legs to save me from Canadian Winter. now that's the picture i can't take. there is the moment.
I think of it and how i can look at the pictures and miss the noise that i use my iPod and headphones to do away with when i drive.

To do

2011-01-22T15:47:00.001-06:00

I love thinking of things to do.

doing them.... is a little different.

That's true about a number of things in life for most people (like being a Rock Star, or a Pro Athlete) Errands are thing like that for me. I love thinking of little errands, home improvements, odd jobs and possibilities. I hate taking the time to shop for lumber and to measure and get things done. -not because i hate doing that stuff, mind you, it's because i always have a long list of much more creative and important things i'd RATHER be doing.
(i know, i broke the "never use CAPS when you blog rule", let's both move on from here)

I have big projects that i care much more about...about a mile of them. And when you put some little odd job -like registering your car- its tough to find time to do it.

The pattern is: ignore the dumb job for the highly fullfilling one, untill that becomes extremely life-and-death urgent and if you don't act on it now the Government will burn your body and force you to live as Darkman, only in a cave. Then be extremely stressed out as you try to get that errand done alongside a stack of other "dumb" errands you've ignored.

Errands steal the thing i love most "unplanned time." Women also steal this, but they are much more beautiful, kissable, and so forth.

The question is... what errands am i ignoring to take the time to type this?

Well, i DID (oh no, caps again!) take the time to do a shwacklaod of errands today. so there!

still, that pile is pretty big....

2010 in sum

2010-12-31T12:34:00.004-06:00

Things that happened.

Came back to canada, moose jaw
Made the Admit You video. Enjoy.
Made the I Love Briercrest Videos, 1 and 2.
Got the VideoMaster Job at Briercrest, salary and vacation fun!
Amy Hansen gave in to her crazy thoughts and asked me out. We dated!!!
Drove to Montreal and Quebec City, Toronto, Niagara, Sault St. Marie, Winnipeg.
Got Anthem Back together for a show with a bunch of new songs.
Joined the Philly 5 crew, playing drums.
Got back together with Friend Friend for a while for drums and singing.
Played shows in Winnipeg, Edmonton, Alberta, MJ, Calgary, etc. For $
Went to the GMA’s “Covenant Awards” and puked in Starbucks bathroom.
Man Camp 2010, a much needed time in manland.
Created over an hour of animations for the Briercrest Christmas Celebration. A hit.
Started playing my first fantasy role playing game, D20 modern. In Love, for Life. Thanks To Drew Hildebrand
Made amazing new life-long friendships, The Sims, others,
Lived with The Leptich’s.
Moved back in with the France, and for the first time with Cappy and Campbell. Into a house! We have a yard and BBQ’s!
Finally got an iPhone. Life will never be the same.
Here for Friend Christmas- yes!
Watched the entire series Firefly, and Serenity, named the house after her.
Fringe, Dexter, 24, Apple events (watching them announce stuff).
All the James Bond movies with friends and olives...
Got engaged to Amy Hansen!
Drove to B.C., Vancouver Island, Victoria. Met the future in-laws on the Sheri-side
Valentines Party at the Pierson’s, Cabin Day with them and the Flamings, new Traditions and much love.
Hung with the Pierson’s in Caronport, and in Abbotsford.
Studio Drummer for different people’s projects at JawBone. Fun.
Flamings Got Preggo, Pierson’s Got Preggo, Hlady’s got Preggo and babied.
Eric La France got a girlfriend, Amanda Gerdes.
Jen Leptich got engaged!
Did not go to USA once this year, crazy.
Turned 30. Wow.
Bought an EX1R.
Sister had a baby. Little Scarlett.
Took a thousand pictures on my iPhone.
Read almost 30 books, over 10 more audio books, and hundreds of blogs and articles.
Achieved almost every goal I set for the year.
Lost over 20 pounds, ran easily over a hundred miles.
Gained 10 pounds back in November-December, ran 0 miles those months, haha!
Barely Blogged. busy writing scripts and things.

la bodega, regina

2010-12-19T14:27:00.001-06:00

The Simple Truth.

2010-08-08T01:08:00.002-06:00

Nothing, for me, is simple. (even that statement, upon the further reflection of typing this second one, is much too simple to be true, and it’s not.)

It would seem simple enough to create an adage “if someone thinks something is simple, they are wrong”, though, how could such a thing be true in every context -when such few (if any) things are? That would also assume we could know every context. We already have an issue seeing correctly the contexts that we have looked at with scrutiny (we see them as far more simple then they are).

Perhaps I’m using a rather complex bit of text to say simply that ‘everything is complex; even more complex then we now know.’ Choose something you know, really think on it, and you’ll soon see it as more complex then you thought it before, regardless of how complex you thought it before.

There are manners of speaking, of course, wherein we include the concepts of simplicity and complexity, and, often, things can be said to be ‘simple’ in those relative circumstances. Take the idea of a problem on your computer: you can’t find a file. You search in every folder you can click on and you say “I can’t find that file”. This continues until a 12 year-old enters the scene and uses the handy search field and, like Apple Magic, the file is found. You say ‘wow’ and the 12 year-old says “it's simple.” I know, such a terrible example, it could never happen to you, but that enhances the point- we think something is complex until we think we know it. Even engineers -who study for years- cough out the words, when they are demonstrating some complex bit of arrangement to a colleague they are exacerbated with, saying “ it’s really very simple.”

And so it goes, from some odd clever person to another, in a wide cycle of one-ups-man-ships that we enjoy around the globe daily. But it's quite a different thing, to know how to 'simply talk to a girl', than to understand the complexities of why this young specimen of the species Homo sapien [latin for ‘knowing’ or ‘wise’ ‘man’] seems to desire so strongly to talk to her at all (especially when he would be awfully unhappy if all he got to do was simply talk to her.)

I really do scratch my head weekly, as terribly simple and ignorant words fly from pulpits around the spinning earth... and simple people enjoy them. I guess I just have too deep a sense of the paramount atrocity that conflating ideas reek upon civilization. We live in an elaborately involved complex of realities (reality meaning a 'realm of consciousness'). You are blind to the reality experienced on the other side of the globe, until the New York Times posts an article about it with photos that make you feel you get enough of a glimpse to open your mind to some other reality some other poor soul is living far away from you and your take on things. The universe is a multiverse, and a complicated and labyrinthine one at that. You hardly can look closely at something you see every day, only to notice a tangled and bewildering existence that baffles the mind (at least my mind). This is why I hate pictures of human skin, where, all the land of small creatures it truly is, is exposed and in color. I like to believe that if you zoomed in on my skin, you’d simply see the smooth skin I see. Not the cracks of my lego-body much too closely resembling the lego building blocks of my monkey cousin, I hope isn’t as related to me as some apes claim. I’d rather pretend I’m not the universe to a host of living things -mostly inside me- and so I do, and I say “I’m simply me- take a look- do you see anything else here? No, of course you don’t, it's just me, plain and simple.”

There is no truth that is straightforward. Even reading this sentence you are reading something completely different than I’m thinking as I type- and there is no way around it, italics of not. I know that there is a limited range of meaning, I’m only pointing out that the considering of such things is vastly convoluted, if not Byzantine. Hence the misunderstandings, and why else would you be asking yourself what exactly the point of this particular arrangement of the alphabet is. The point is that “ghsdjkdhakdhsad” is the only simple thing in existence. There is no such thing as “chaos.” The nano-second you label it with some simple word to pretend you understand it, you err Chaos is better revealed in the agonizingly ordered stacks of baseball cards sitting in attics across america. Chaos is starting each sentence with a capital letter. One reason I think so many people want to find a “God” is only to simplify the myriad of multifarious possibilities. How exceptionally annoyed I can be, when kindhearted folks attempt to placate my sprawling mental voyages by trying to moralize me into accepting ‘what is so simple.’ I will not feel guilty for not being as ignorant as the next guy, no matter how ignorant I’m doomed to be, in my limited cubicle of perception. I don’t mind not being able peel back the curtain on the heavens, as much as being told that I am not allowed to look for the seams.

If the existential moment wasn’t a thorny, knotty, nexus lying outside the peripheral vision of the masses (obsessed with ignoring pictures of creatures on their skin) we might have less killing in the name of invisible creations, and no need to drink imported beer. If, at midnight, I’m not so sure of the senseless (literally) things that no one is sure of, then, at midnight, I just may be that much more brilliantly honest. Or perhaps the great canvass, that this checkered and variegated reality is but a thread in, alludes me. Plus... I’m tired.

Blank and Loud.

2010-06-12T10:20:00.000-06:00

Maybe I’ve been slow to post, as of late.

And what of my silence, of my failure to express? True, I’ve felt fatigued and emptied by all the expression needed for day to day life. And yet, there is more. I also feel a bit stuffed with thoughts I only share with myself, and an increasing awareness of my uniqueness in the world.

My thoughts are not revolutionary so much as they are isolating.

Maybe I feel like a man who stands before his peers to tell a tale, and estimates that they are too numerous to have but a few who care or are capable of understanding.

Maybe it’s the fatalistic feeling that nothing can really change anyway, only evolve, like the microevolution of bacteria inside our tylenol-subdued heads. Why then speak?

If early life is a growing and building, than maybe maturity is simply that which was built being attacked and then many parts of it/us dying, save the few pieces that have the unusual composition to survive. Those remaining pieces grow and are what’s left of us, if anything. Maybe that is why some wither so fast and why some last an age. The ones who last are like super-bugs, immune to life’s anti-bacteria. Maybe that’s why many adults live as shadows of the children they once were, like mutant, surviving-strains; a piece of what had been, the remnant that survives, however twisted and different.

Maybe what I am as an adult, is simply what is left over from the killing of my feeble pieces by life.

A rock can brake a window, but an opportunity can break your concentration, or even your mind, if you allow your imagination to get ahold of it. I think people both need imagination to survive as humans, and that it keeps them from really living. Imagination is what allowed us to build the first bed, when we’d slept on the ground. It is also what keeps us up at night, what strangles us in a hundred-thousand ridiculous and dangerous religions, and what makes us hate our present realities.

For my part, I love opportunities, and don’t fear them. Somewhere in my mind as a child the notion grew that one who misses opportunities is the real fool of life. They complain and muse of the life they can imagine, but aren’t ever offered. But on the other hand, All an opportunity needs to do, is to show up with his many kin, and the food is set out for that monstrous imagination to feast on and reign. His rule is a mad, slow, death. And so, we don’t fear an opportunity as much as we fear his arriving with many brothers and sisters.

Opportunities disconnect you from yourself and your own will, since they are offered from outside you. You can serve opportunities because they are all around you, and never accomplish anything you’d actually like to do. Besides that even, often we’d have no idea of what we’d like to do -because of how we have strong imaginations and can pretty much imagine a million things that we would love to do, though the lot of them are bunk.

I’m not venting out because I feel surrounded by choking opportunities (my starry array of opportunities are checked by a deeply conceived plan I’ve set out for myself). I assume it looks that way.

Perhaps I wanted to type away until I started using words like “bunk” and “microevolution.” Or, perhaps I, like you, simply wanted to see what I would come up with. Perhaps I wanted to illustrate in this arrangement of linear symbols knitted into prose, that poetic blank and loud. Loud in its echoing waves of existence, while blank in its state of existence. The Blank and Loud is the opportunity to speak, and then not to. It is the opportunity to write to you while keeping my life and oscillating thoughts strictly to myself.

It must be a place-holder card of sorts, to stand for all the things it would take me too long to say. Things I really have been thinking about.

what a strange post.

Misty Thought

2010-04-07T12:38:00.000-06:00

Tired.

Emotionally so, I think.

Eyes closed, as to sleep, but my mind is a fire of a thousand flames.

Amy asks me what I’m thinking about- holding my hand.

It would feel like picking a single grain out of a thousand to choose a single thought and claim it as the one I was thinking.

I realize that sometimes, like now, my thoughts are a million drops of water in the air, like the mist of a waterfall, akin to the Buddhist universe. Like the blood in my body, a million mental streams of thought pour through my consciousness.

I’m thinking about my future, about relationships in general, about how I don’t like trash in cars, about cheating couples and the fate of any relationship. I’m thinking about amy being a Blue and my being a Yellow, and if that means she’ll be loyal and never cheat on me. I’m thinking about how when I choose to say something or write something down, the streams of thought narrow and the midst hits land to become a single, strong, thought.

I’m thinking of how I don’t like cats and how I like dogs, but would prefer to not have any pet to look after.

Maybe I’m feeling more than thinking.

Maybe the two aren’t as antithetic as people are prone to paint them.

They are strewn as a dichotomy, but I might want to find that false.

I think of how I often secretly don’t believe that feelings are anything more than thoughts that get mis-labeled because they are different. Like the way kids in the deep corners of china are told and believe that ‘white people’ or ‘americans’ are aliens from outer-space, and thats why they look so different.

Emotions: separated thoughts, so we can fear them and have distance between us and them.

It does help, I admit, psychologically speaking, to separate the energies of the brain into an ‘intellectual’ spectrum and an ‘emotional’ one. It’s pragmatic to do so, and helpful.

It does not follow that emotions are not thoughts.

I think now that my thoughts are more like a wide river of ideas flowing in the same direction, rather than a scattered mist.

It is very much like me to sit and have a million thoughts simultaneously, like seeds of corn popping in the microwave, each thought bearing a bit of fruit.

Feeling can be so much like thinking. I know that it’s been proven that a lot of what we ‘feel’ is simply our unconscious mind and it’s calculations affecting the body and conscious mind. The deductions of your unconscious mind leak into your conscious mind and you feel scared, because the logic of your situation doesn’t add up.

I like sometimes, to sit and let my mind blur to a large mist of calculations and unemotional considerations. When I think of them being unemotional, I guess I mean emotional, just not stressful.

If we are simply bio-computers, like some posit, the price we pay for being soft is that we feel that terrible ‘stress’ often, and in a plethora of ways. I’d much rather monitor a ‘stress meter’ on my arm and not feel a thing, than to be occasionally overwhelmed and irrational and stupid because my insides worry about how I will ever get along in life.

I guess this is how I veg. I stop pinning down my thoughts to specific words and motives, and turn them loose like birds from the cage. I mist.

I think I haven’t blogged in a long time because of how must mental pinning down my life and work have required the past few months.

When I am free of that, I catch-up on my mist time, where I let my mind sway in a gigantic tide of ocean, and natural wave and teem with life.

I guess I could always blog on my mist itself. Aim it as a river. Not too much as to destroy it or introduce too much motive or stress. But enough to write something down. Beats staring out the car window as we drive from Quebec City back to Montreal and down to Toronto.

Birthday Journal 2009.

2009-12-18T02:46:00.004-06:00

Dec 16 2009 Pyeongtaek, South Korea.

I always write a journal on my birthday. Usually it’s the sort of reflective drivel I hope everyone writes; full of narcissistic lusting that life was as sweet as we can imagine to be.

I can be happy everyday of my life, but my birthday comes and I’m a glum little dude unable to find the daylight through the dark. As you imagine, I’ve had plenty of ‘great’ birthdays i tried to enjoy. Emotionally, I only watched and interacted on them as through thick prison glass. Some were good though.

This year was different, not unlike last year, which also broke the pattern by failing 3 of my 5 birthday traditions.

1.Write a song on my birthday.

2.Be on mainland north america

3.Write my Journal in pencil in a notebook and never share it.

4.See below.

I woke up this morning ...or rather, didn't sleep last night, and asked myself what I asked myself three or four days ago: Will I be sad on my birthday?

You - “what a sad stupid strange question to ask yourself...”

Me- Either way you look at it, your birthday comes and you finally consider if you actually like your life. A lot of people don’t.

I totally dig my life, but I guess I’m always wanting more (pretend you didn’t hear that).

I thought about whether I'd be happy, like last year, or not. The thinking of it got me thinking.

It’s really my choice.

I can set down daft feelings of being ‘unsatisfied’ or ‘wishing my life was different than it is’, and decide to NOT get all sad. That means no “God, I’m why am I still waiting for you to do ‘this’ or ‘that’.. Still waiting waiting sad waiting, where is it?!!!”. It means no phrases that start with “I wish....”

It’s tempting to use my crazy imagination to fantasize that I was Emperor of the Free World or some sort of miraculous end-of-days prophet that billions recognized as a great holy man. I kind of love role-play and putting myself in other peoples shoes, and that can be a place to run, when I have things to deal with I don’t want to deal with. Stress enters, I leave.

But last November I pressed a huge button I found hanging over my life. It was there all along and I guess the thing terrified me and to be honest the last thing I wanted to do was hit that button. It was painted black in nail polish and so it looked like sticky death to me. Maybe.

If my outer world was like a tornado ripping apart towns and farmland, my inner-world was a Hurricane, sweeping up not only cows and farm hands that took too long to find cover, but oceans and cities.

I drove from Moose Jaw to LA and hit ‘RESET’ on my life.

I was done. Done complaining. Done dreaming. Done fighting. Done hiding. Done worrying about myself, done worrying about everyone else.

But you know this, no?

Well last year I went Jim Carey and enjoyed saying yes to happiness and fun in a Hawaiian winter with my baby bro (Willy the wise) visiting our mama. I won’t tell you what I did, that one’s for me. It was a best-ist birthday. But that reset button must have had more nail polish than I thought, because It took a bit of work to press it in all the way.

I spent most of this past year all alone, hermiting in the caves of california, complete with wifii. I really needed it. I loved it. Imagine a living without a hurricane going on in your head and your heart. Thats how good it was, like a buddhist in tibet in some flick that makes our western lives look ridiculously busier than they ever should be.

The start of my RESET was that there was a lot of stuff I was doing to myself in my own choices that I had been blaming on God, Fate, and Others.

I had Jonny Rempel’s mom called me today and her and little koreans sang me happy birthday in korean. The funny part about that is that I am in korea, and they are in in Strathmore, Alberta. I love life. Talking to my Jonathon was rich, guys like me and King David need them, maybe that’s why I have so many.

I decided that if God has given me a choice in how I would feel about today, then my choice would be that it was be an awesome king-day without a gloomy moment.

I get taken out to dinner tonight by John and Ferial. They’ve taken me to many exquisite and superb restaurants. Right now though, I only feel like running off to McDonald's... I have few hours till they get off work... Plenty of time to google McDonald's and go on another Korean Birthday Adventure...

I’ve already been on a few today. One involved me wandering out of the city into a village to meet up with a massive FIRE. I think they thought I started it, because I’m white (note: this was a “no-iPod” walk, quite different than the standard iPod walk).

I need to go and see how well I’ve learned how to read Korean, it is my birthday after all and I’m not going to spend it typing to you all day on the computer, I don’t care who you are.

Closing thought from, Kurt Cobain that popped up on my gmail this morning: “Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.". To prove how insensitive I can be, I’ll admit that when I read that, I didn’t go “awww”, I went “isn’t killing yourself with a shotgun also a waste of the person you are?”

I guess it shows I have a ways to go yet.

But thats enough about me.

We Want To Join A Story

2009-12-06T09:11:00.002-06:00

Let a story hit you, a second or so of solitude, and you have a life-moment. You might enter the apartment and notice the lights left on, as you read the note on the door reminding you to shut them off. You’re too focused or too unfocused to lash yourself. You ignore the call of computers and the 'webbing' because you desire a bit of space, and sit on the sofa. There it is.

The story gets to you as you stare out at the world you are in. You shut off all wishing and intentions enough to see it for the thing it is. Just your life in its present position. No more, no less. Nothing bad happened today, but you feel a longing to have that thing the characters in the story -like most stories- have. Resolution. Redemption. Purpose.

You wish your life was like a story, a book, a movie. At any stage along the way you could bolster and solace yourself by knowing there is a purpose and resolution coming, indeed. You hold back the usual regimen of aims, ambitions, and emotional energy thrown out at the plans and hopes for your life, used to excuse the vain content of each numbered day to your thinking brain. A sadness skulks inside your emotional boundary. Time to jump up and put away your coat and shrug it off. Things are heading somewhere, you tell yourself.

I think one of the reasons a worldview like Christianity grabs my ear and heart in tandem, is that it collects the oddly drab and indefinable moments of our aspirational days and sets them into the storyline of a comedy. There the characters never fail to face cruelties and conflicts, yet the resolution to such striving is set into the machine already. In the Christian worldview, history spreads out on that great canvas called time progressing to its deliberate end. Each of us have our meaning therein. In that space our in-betweens and irksome realities of the ‘now’ hold a tempo. They can be sorted into plot-points in a sequence purposed to entail the significance and redemption we often covet.

We want to join a story,

and the prophets say we are part of a story.

In a life-moment you expect they are right.

Korean December II: John's Genius

2009-12-01T06:56:00.006-06:00

John Trammell knows where he is, on the ground, at all times.

he doesn't get lost like mere mortal men. Over a week with him winding down back alleys and weaving through crowds, if he says "we are two blocks east of where ___ is located" then you know its true. We all say "no john" and then he is right. we knew it. I should add that Subways don't count, and Ferial is the one who you rely on is any subway situation, also, she is great at reading Korean.

That said,

John wanted us all, last week, to go to a resturant in Seoul he schemed off an article in the New York Times, and some of us naysayers were skeptical about it being worth the price... it was the best food, almost ever ever. Surely will be the best meal we'll have here, and every bite was a dream sequence.

The place is called Chamsutgol, where their star dish is galbi (beef short rib), they bring you the raw meat to cook on your table top grill, and here they provide real sutbul (wood charcoal) -- a real treat as it adds a smoky flavor. One of the signature dishes we had here is the galbitang (stewed beef ribs), but you'd better arrive early because they only make 40 orders of it per day.

One of the best places i'll ever eat in my life, thank you John the Genius, this experience is up there with Greg Bowcock taking us to House of Nanking in San Francisco.

Last night we found a great sushi place John took us to and insisted we must try, after he did a bit research and got a hunch about it. It's the first one John and Ferial have been able to stomach here. Apparently Korean sushi is very very different than the Japanese style we enjoy in the Americas, and it is not a good difference to lovers of the other style. We found a winner though, and it was worth the cash John spent on it.

Thanks John, that was sooo good.

I think the place was called Marie and Mare, or something like that (next to Mr. Pizza, who’s slogan is “Love for Women!”) It is good, so...next time you’re in Pyeongtaek, you know where to go to curb your need for good Sushi.

Korean December

2009-12-01T06:45:00.005-06:00

How to get by in Korea: have friends there that help you get by.

This week marks the end of my time in Korea as a tourist, bumping around Pyeongtaek and Seoul with the Trammells, The Majzoubs, and King Rempel.

I was supposed to leave at 5:40 Sunday evening, but alas, The Creech strikes again, adventure emerges.

A lunch with some key people, an made impression, and then the offer...

Now I’m staying for a month or so.

I get to spend the next weeks coming here in Korea, spending a bunch of time on my Masters Thesis Project toward my MFA at AAU, soaking up the culture, and spending dear time with friends. Part Hermit, Part Student, Part Tourist, Part Friend, Part Facebook Junkie. All good things, maybe.

I get to spend a few days living with Jonny Random himself ( he is Bill Gates, Billy Graham, and Bill Cosby mixed together) before he returns to the Great White North, which you can bet is full of heaven-minded time, much appreciation of his genius, and fellowship par excellence .

I took a long walk on Sunday and almost missed the house church at the Trammell’s because I got terribly lost in some rice fields. They live on the edge of this mega-city-thing, so you can walk under an overpass and into some fields. I didn’t think I could get lost, now I know I can. Humble Pie eaten. Tastes so good... Not. I blame having inspiring music on my iPod, thanks for nothing Steve Jobs you wonderful man... or.. thanks for everything. yes.

Allow me to break down my time thus far: Great Restaurants, Friends, hugs, New Friends, Busses, Trains, Taxi Cabs, Subways, Markets, standing about and chatting with Muhi as John and the girls shopped till they dropped. These are the things dreams are made of.

Also, I ran into the only Korean I know in Korea, by chance, turning a corner in Seoul. A city-area of 25 million peeps, in a country of 48 million.

We pass through an alley way and Sang-Don of Fender Hall is there in the flesh! He notices the ever-tall John Trammell, and we meet him and his fiance. How cool is life?

I love getting to see how my friends are living overseas, to see their little community, their place of work, their spiritual and social lives, not to mention their Kindles.

Kindles are awesome. I’m seriously considering one, just to make use of the mountain of PDF books I own on my computer that I would never want to read on my computer screen. Death to eyes! ...maybe I’ll wait for the money to start rolling in.

KOREA : flight and arrival

2009-11-21T17:32:00.004-06:00

Flight to Korea, Singapore Airlines.

Off the bat, because they noted that I was a single passenger, when spots opened up they called me up and gave me a aisle seat in a three row with another person so that we each had an empty seat between us. Such makes a trans-pacific flight into a dream.

Secondly, they had these first class seats that were literally thrones, the largest I’ve seen, that looked more comfortable than a lazy boy, and were the same size or larger. I actually might consider upgrading my flight home to experience such zen (let’s be honest, I won’t).

Never mind, those seats were business class, the 1st class are even bigger, a desk mixed with a bed. cool

Next, they gave us those nice heated towels that make me feel like a million dollars and had nice and helpful young stewards that helped each person get their bag situated,

The pillows were big.

Awesomely they came by and handed out Givenchy - socks to put on over your own so you can take off your shoes and relax during your flight.. BOOM this is tops,

This comes along with toothbrush and toothpaste... Am I on a cheap flight or in a nice hotel? My money feels more worth it on foreign airlines. American stuff sucks.

“Medical situation on board, if there is any medical professional, could you please identify yourself to member of the crew please thank you.”

Wow.

Watched Julie and julia.. Is it recent events? Is it perhaps the weakness in me, I feel quite strong and happy but I’m almost crying all the way through julie and julia... So human, not necessarily a great film or anything like that, but some deep parts of me are being touched that I can’t really grasp. Just the holding back of tears and the wetness of eyes, ready to pour out saline .

Plus I find Julia Childs sooo cute and hilarious. Maybe someday I can have a cute wife. That would be fun. Being alone is also fun, but if my wife was cute like julia, I would love that too.

I want to marry a woman who cooks in pearls. Amen.

Side-note about my script for my Masters Thesis Film: on the flight I watched (500) Days of Summer, and have ran into to a major problem... The names of the main characters are Tom and Summer... Which were the names of my main two characters.... NO!!!

I guess I need new names... Ouch.

Customs went really fast, thanks to Trammell telling me the info I needed to know, so.. Score!

IN KOREA FIRST NIGHT

feels like I’m in KoreaTown USA for the most part so far, since it was night and I simply see Korean signs and enjoy a bus ride with my dear friends.

Me and Jonny Random had a sweet little visit, staying up and eating noodles and being the funny nerds we are. Validation is someone who really really gets you and appreciates your quirks. There will be much of that between Johnny, the Trammells and I these korean days... Makes me promise myself not to marry anyone that doesn’t truely appreciate all my funny little quirks

Woke up this morning to a whole lot of daylight. Loooove it.

This made my day

2009-09-25T01:56:00.001-06:00

thanks, John Dale, for showing this to me.

How to Date a Hot Celebrity

2009-09-19T00:02:00.010-06:00

How do you date a Hot Celebrity ?

i made a top 10 list to make it easy for everyone else...

10. Be hot yourself... and know it.

9. Knock on her parents door, while she is over.

8. Be funny

7. Be smart (this works especially well if her dad was a pastor and you studied theology)

6. Pretend to have NEVER heard of her and force her to try and sell herself to you and convince you that she is worth your time.

5. Hope to the Lord you drive a 1988 toyota station wagon you can pick her up in.

4. Take her to In'n'Out.

3. Bring back to your apartment to watch the season premiere of The Office.

2. Follow it up with the new hit "Community"

1. Play Halo with her and your cousins till 2:04 am, and be barely able to get up in the AM.

PS. if the only pictures you took were on your cell phone (since you camera got stolen in Hawaii) it might be nice to know how to get them onto your computer and not delete them when you try out 'bluetooth' and thought it worked.

Top Ten things That Pop Into My Mind

2009-09-05T14:06:00.016-06:00

Question: what are the top ten things that pop into my mind when i sit to blog the Top Ten ThingsThat Pop Into My Mind?

Answers:

(in order of appearance)

10. Hot sauce, namely Tapatio

9. short hair on women is sooo hard to pull off, but can be done

8. The chick on "quantum of Solace" was hot, and that movie was way more fun than i expected it to be from the bad reviews i heard early on.

7. I hope i can keep my numeric order correct on this thing, you know how bad i can get with numbers.

6. I miss playing scrabble with John Trammell, - monopoly too, Star Wars Monopoly. funs.

5. is my food getting cold? yes. shouldn't type while eating.

4. Halo 3 is different then i remember... did i always suck this bad or does not doing something impact your abilities, and if so, then how good at kissing can i actually be?

3.Why am i soo entertained by my own lies about how I suck at Love and how girls don't like me?

2. Will the US ever make some huge wall to border Mexico- and if so, will we be allowed to walk along the top of it like the Great Wall of China?

1. Can we still hire McCain to do the important presidential stuff like 'make decisions’ and 'govern' while keeping Obama as our black poster boy who is young, hip, and does all the 'speaking and media stuff'?

Art and Living: thinking out loud

2009-09-05T12:10:00.010-06:00

David Maybury Lewis once asked "why do we separate art and living?" in his documentary on the Wodaabes tribe of Niger, who, in his terms, doesn't make a split between art and everyday life.

His phrase juxtaposes shots of the tribe in their artist regalia and some western family in bland button up shirts, ties, and pull-over sweaters walking looking at paintings in an art museum. His point is that they integrate art as part of living itself, while we separate it and leave it in museums.

I wonder that David has got us westerners wrong.

We, in the west, are classically too hard on ourselves and count the things we don't deal with everyday as exotic and artful, and forget that our lives too, are art in all parts- from the bland suits we wear to the bottled water we drink from.

try telling the clothing designer that he is not an artist who makes his life on his craft.

it's fair to say that different societies view art differently from one another, but that perception is just that... perception from a certain plane of thinking. As well, very very very few cultures actually do not distinguish between art and life.

what does that even mean? who would say art is not a part of life? when i think about it, it must mean everyday life, and even that point seems farfetched when i really think about it.

we make distinction between paintings in museums and the make-up we put on our faces, but that line is pragmatic.

show an exotic tribe at one of their very few festivals, all gussied up and differently ceremonial about everything than us, and it will look like we keep art in a museum and they live it out, but that is far from the truth. methinks it is taking advantage of that festival and the fact that their garb for the occasion is much more elaborate than our common t-shirt and jeans.

And even the Wodaabe women carry around their 'calabashes' (pottery) which is never used but set up for display at their festivals a couple times a year... which sounds like an art-show to me.

Bros Before ....(you know)

2009-08-17T03:17:00.003-06:00

I was looking forward to some privacy again, as time led up to my little bro leaving our apartment in San Jose to go back to his place at Utah State University.

But tonight, when i entered the room and he was all packed up and car-loaded, i saw his side of the room, all bare and empty. his half of the closet deserted.

My heart dropped, and i was lonely before he was even gone, before we took our last ride, to change cars in Fairfield. I knew that we'd grown together as a pair inseparable these last months, and that i would miss him and have to fight off tears as he went.

Bubba and me, now apart, sad days.

I liked having him as partner to journey with through a summer of sales and self-understanding.

I liked it being my little brother.

We've not had the chance to become great friends, and this summer did it, i'm thankful for that, no matter how lonely i feel right now.

I drove back from Fairfield tonight alone, for the first time since May, and though it doesn't sound long, it feels deep. funny how that goes.

I'm kinda shocked and put off by it, i had planned on this transition to go smoothly, and now i feel all sad and strange.

maybe i do have a heart after all...

grace

2009-08-07T00:37:00.000-06:00

here is a video off my photobooth the night i cut my hair

the Blah

2009-07-26T02:11:00.003-06:00

has this summer almost slipped away?

and here i am so uninspired. so fraught with thought but no filled cup to pour from.

this long work and knocking has bled me dry of the kind of mental-emotional energy that it takes to write, sing, draw, blog, record, edit, etc.

usually i'm on many projects at once. now i'm a single-minded man, weary at the day's end.

My sleep is all broken, and i can't remember not waking up in the middle of the night.

is it stress? i feel stressed in sleep, stressed thinking i'll get phone calls of sales cancellations or something.

I'm typing now, because its the weekend, and there was some rest in the day, and now some juice in the box, but not much.

going to a church in Rocklin tomorrow.. wonder what it will be like. i don't expect much. maybe i'm super realist, or just smart enough to doubt great things happening, or just blah.

i guess i feel kind of blah.

but it's blah that's under control.

does that make sense? i mean i use it, or choose it, rather. I choose the task that is most important at the moment to spend the energy on, and push other stuff aside.

well, i try to, at a least.

i wonder if this is important... or just blah.

I'm Starting

2009-07-12T03:52:00.001-06:00

I’m starting to like sales.

Its tough, the hardest. But it is rewarding.

I like everything it’s bringing up in me, all the issues it attacks. It takes such courage and self-togetherness to be a great salesman. It takes and extremely strong mind that can listen to a million rejections and lies and still smile at the very next door a few seconds later. It takes getting your mind and life straight.

You can’t have a messed up life at all and be anything of a salesman, especially door to door. You’re emotions must be in check, your goals, your prioirites.

It’s the greatest character building thing I’ve done in the last four years.

I knew it would be so, which is why I chose to do it. I wanted to see how old Tony would hold up to such conditions, such challenge, such terribly relentless hard work that makes you soo sleepy and yet which has you waking up in stressful fits all night.

I haven’t had a whole nights sleep in weeks. I wake up four or five times, and am always tired. I hope I get over this.

I like this. There are moments (especially at the end of the week) when I want to run far far away and do an easy job, like cleaning classrooms, or teaching.

But God has given me a chance to learn and to master not only my mind and self, but to be able to read, handle, and direct social interactions on a crazy level. Plus I can get paid out the wazoo. AND I get to live with my baby brother (who is a great saleskid and who has more than twice the sales I do.... But I will catch him yet! .. P.S. Last week He was rated as #2 in the whole company for sales.. Crazy!)

If everyone could do it, it wouldn’t pay so much.

I hope I get the hang of it. So far, so good.

Long story short: I don’t hate sales anymore. I kind-of like it (especially when you sell stuff you can believe in, something good.) Learning sales has meant so much maturing and dealing with stuff and becoming a man and all that glorious Life-Learning stuff many never do. how can I hate it?

But I can’t wait for the job to be done and have a chance to see you again.

Liars

2009-06-21T01:51:00.001-06:00

People often think of salesmen as smooth talking liars who are trying to cheat you.

The truth is that salesmen are some of the most honest people around.

The truth is the other way around. Salesmen don’t lie, CUSTOMERS LIE.

We knock on the door with some truth, and people lie out of their butts.

They say its not their house, when it is. They say their parents aren’t home when they are on the couch yelling for the door to be slammed in our face. They say they have no money, when they do. The salesman has to steer his way through an ocean of lies pouring out of potential customers.

Sell You

2009-06-15T01:36:00.002-06:00

Buttercup: You mock my pain.

Man in Black: Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.

Funny. Me, of all people, a salesman.

If there is one thing I’ve been trying in my life NOT to do, it’s SELL.

Trying NOT to SELL Jesus

Trying NOT to SELL myself to girls.

Trying NOT to SELL myself to employers and friends, churches, etc.

Trying NOT to SELL briercrest.

I’ve thought that generally they were things that shouldn’t ever be sold.

The last thing I’d want to do is to SELL Jesus to someone, like I was selling Pest Control. And I’d hate to SELL myself to some chick, like I was a new iPod she should consider. I’d rather just be me and have her fall in love. (I know I know, maybe that’s not working out...hahha. It’s ok, I sold myself for years like a used car salesman, and I’ll never go back)

But now, Selling is what God is asking me to do. (not girls, I mean like, for my job)

So let’s get on with it.

Is selling wrong? Convincing wrong?

Here is the first lesson God has humbled me on and opened my eyes about.

We are always selling something.

Let me explain. - it might be better to say that we are always COMMUNICATING something, and giving other people an opinion on it.

Some of it is out of our control. Some of it IS in our control.

What if I’ve been subconsciously selling myself to others as something I’m not?

I sell myself to MYSELF. I’ll say dumb crap like “you’ll never make it”, which is selling a lie. And yet I feel like I’m trying to convince myself when I do the positive “you ARE gonna make it”. The sad thing is, I’ll let myself do the negative, and I won’t even realize I’m selling myself some dumb lie.

Does that make sense?

I’ll let myself look like an idiot, and sell myself shorter than I should.

That’s not humility, thats coping out, and its not the TRUTH, but some negative attitude lie I’m buying into.

Why do I not suspect the negative, like I suspect the positive?

People try to sell me on the idea that I’m good “you’re great”

And I think “you’re only saying that”

But if they sell me on my own demise “you suck”

I think “oh man they are right, I suck”

And so goes the selling of negative messages, and our fast purchase of them from others and, mostly, from ourselves.

Can it be so wrong to sell good messages, especially true ones?

“sell” can be such a BAD word. I know. That’s how I used it to start off this thing.

To say that they are trying to SELL you something seems to imply dishonesty, or slyness. It also seems to imply that the thing being sold is cheap and people don’t just want it, so they must be sold it.

People who follow Jesus don’t want Jesus to come across as some odd cheap thing being sold at the kiosks in the middle of the Mall. Those people look down on the Jesus’ Folk with the tracks on the street corners and signs on the sidewalks and dance groups all selling Jesus like he was a new edition of the News for that day- worse, a give away offer, not even sold- like some crappy coupons people stick in your mailbox and you hate having to throw away.

The Jesus’ Folk that do the track-type stuff see it not as sharing Jesus himself so much as sharing a message about him, like journalists spreading the news that the Axis Powers had finally been defeated in World War II. They don’t understand why People who Follow Jesus don’t just jot down the message and slap it on the windshields of cars that are parked in the mall parking lot.

Is that even worse than selling Jesus? He’s a coupon?

But when they don’t use tracks, they are saying something about what they think the gospel is, they are selling it, only a different way. Like the idea that when two people talk they are always selling ideas to each other, or trying to.

When a salesman comes to your door, you are trying to sell to him the reasons that you can’t buy it, while he is selling you the reason why you should. Both are selling.

In a sense, you’re selling yourself on ideas all day long. The question that is most important remains- are you selling yourself lies, or truth? Are you feeding yourself negative generalities that are unhelpful, pessimistic, short-sighted guesses about the future, which all happen to be based on deep unresolved fears?

Don’t blame God or fate or the person to your right. Take responsibility for the hilarious things you try to sell yourself .

Open Rebuke

2009-06-13T21:20:00.002-06:00

Watch it in HD on YouTube!

I wrote this little thing, this last semester. I didn't mean for it to be a locked-tight parable or anything, just something to stir the mind, and to ask questions about love, and how identity is formed by relationships.

It's about hidden love, open rebuke, and how we choose paths, and align our identities with others.

Who do you align yourself with that controls your identity?

Knocking On Doors

2009-05-22T23:11:00.007-06:00

I thought it was Knocking On Doors.

I’ve always been so shy in those kind of social situations.

Knocking on a door for the first time is like standing before a firing sqaud. I’d come to a new friend’s house, and sit across the street for fifteen minutes examining the surroundings, and weighing all the evidence... determining if I was at the right house.

If i knocked on the wrong house apparently the sky would fall in on me, leaving only a mangled left foot. If it looked like i might end up knocking on a wrong door, i'd just end the friendship.

I was wrong.

That was the easy part, still is. i should know, i've done it now for almost two full weeks.

It takes you two full weeks to know everything about anything, a relationship, a marriage, kids, all of it.

I recommend using the first two weeks of anything to base your entire estimation of it on.

side note: sarcasm is also sweet.

My first day of selling i found my finger pressing doorbells and my hand knocking doors and my face smiling and speaking and selling and doing and- no sky falling, no left mangled foot.

I don't hate knocking on doors.

I kinda like it.

even the "no soliciting" people can be fun, and you can laugh when you hear people yelling at you through the window.

I like the Knocking On Doors part. I've knocked on hundreds of them already. for real.

Don't know why it was so easy

(i doubt i've grown up or anything... the bank still scares me..)

I guess i just told myself it's time to let the "boy" die in that regard and i'm gonna do this, even spend the whole summer doing this, and so i'd better ignore all that emotional stuff and just get a going.

done and done.

1st lesson learned is:

1. Direct Selling (door to door) is the hardest job in the whole world mentally.

I thought i was pretty strong in the whole brain department... strong minded, strong willed - all that good stuff that can be bad stuff when you step on others.

I was wrong. My mind has gotten so smashed, crashed squashed and crumbled,

you'd not believe it unless you've done sales before.

Sales is the hardest profession.

Other jobs you can suck at and earn money.

Other Jobs you get paid for what you know.

Other Jobs are easy, you only need to work hard to do well, to get paid.

sales you can work hard and with all you've got and have nothing to show for it.

that is hard.

I've learned that sales is harder than i thought, and my mind is a weak, shaky, flighty thing.

2nd lesson learned is:

Salesmen are great people, a piece of the best.

Ultimate lesson:

It's not knocking on doors...

I hate sales.

I thought I liked sales and hated knocking on doors and bothering people, but I had it wrong. I like bothering people, I just HATE sales.

Sales sucks.

Everyday I go through a roller-coaster of fear, then I hate this, then ‘this is easy’, then ‘this is fun’, then ‘I hate this I hate this’, then ‘I’m never going to make money’, then ‘I’m gonna be the best ever’ then ‘I’m wasting my time, I hate this’ then ‘get yourself back in this game’ then ‘why can’t I be doing something I like and getting paid for it, rather than doing this and not getting paid for 90% of it?’ then ‘I’m doing this, I’m not doing this’ “im going to quit’ then ‘how do they do this all summer” ‘what time is it- are we done yet?’ then “I’m so awesome at this!” then “I’m quitting soon”.

And on and on.

And that’s on a good day when you don’t get stuck in a pity-party.

Knocking on Doors is fun, it's sales that is the worst stupidest job in the world, and there should be a statue of every man that does it.

I hate it.

But I’m not quitting.

I kinda want to see what happens if I just keep going.

Will I make no money and learn nothing?

Or will I learn ‘everything’?

I think I need to do this. I need to not quit. I need to follow this through all these hard days where I feel like I’m holding my mind and self-worth together with strands of cheap tape.

Who will I be after a summer of knocking on doors, by the hundreds? A summer of mental fight- of mastering my self and emotions?

I don’t think I’ll quit, though I can lie and say I’m not results-driven and pretend I’ll stay it out no matter what. But I don’t think I will. I think I WILL stick around. I want to know who I will be if NO MATTER WHAT,

I just keep

Knocking On Doors

You'll never believe it.

2009-04-28T02:10:00.002-06:00

You'll never believe it... what happened...

Until i tell you.

no.

scratch that.

until i show you. (insert matrix music here).

show you what? you ask.

i don't answer questions. i show questions the door and say "come back when you're grown"

something cool has happened.

but i'm not ready to talk about it yet.

maybe in may.

(or i wrote 'maybe in may' purely for the alliteration of it... love the way it sounded, i won't willfully lie)

In the News.

2009-04-14T04:18:00.003-06:00

Well Known Artist Drowns While Creating River Art

Kind of Ironic.

He is founder of the The First National Church of the Exquisite Panic, Inc.

Revelation of the Year

2009-04-10T15:39:00.003-06:00

There are a million things more than i ever imagined that are under my complete control.

I've wasted mounds of mental energy worrying about things i can't control, and then making excuses and laying out false blame for things that i actually can control. It's a keen realization, and i now have some piles of things to take responsibility for, and happy to see a whole world everyday that has its future completely up to me. God has handed it to me, for me to choose what i'll do with it.

Got to get to doing it,

bye

Wrap

2009-04-05T02:12:00.001-06:00

Tonight i finished a roll of plastic wrap from my mom's kitchen from 1996.

that's how we roll.

An afternoon Francis Ford Coppola's Vineyard

2009-04-02T02:08:00.014-06:00

Last Wednesday:

Spent the afternoon drinking some great wine and touring Francis Ford Coppola's main vineyard, Rubicon.

[He recently renamed it, removing his last name from the label, since everyone was buying it because of his famous status, and coming to the vineyard like it was Disneyland, so he changed the name and starting charging something like 25 dollars to even get out of your car on his estate. He only wants serious wine people to come. The name Rubicon comes from the famous river crossed by Julius Caesar and his army, seeing they had passed the "point of no return"]

Francis acquired one of the oldest vineyards in Napa, with vines that are 2nd generation from a 1st generation vineyard in Bordeaux, France. He has bought up the property that had been split up. Rubicon Estate Winery is the very winery of the infamous Finnish sea captain Gustave Niebaum, who many Canadians learn about in school, since he started the Alaska Commercial Company and was the worlds leading fur trader, before buying the estate in Napa and producing the first Bordeaux style winery in the US. He took these U.S. wines, undervalued at the time, to the Worlds Fair in Paris in 1889, and won numerous Gold Medals

Coppola continues that tradition with their house wine, the Bordeaux style 'Rubicon', which is very tasty indeed.

We got to tour the vineyard behind the scenes via my sweet friend Lamar (he happens to be a manger, and Canadian, Briercrest alum - you might know him from the band Wooky)and get a view (far off) of their mansion. things we a tiny but hectic, since it's Francis' Birthday in a few days. Lamar knows his history, and satisfied our minds with the historic place, while enchanting our taste-buds with the Rubicon Wines

I tried a Cabernet Franc, only from 2006, but it was quite deadly, and had an incredible nose on it. I was very pleasantly surprised. I think my next wine love affair will be with Cab Franc... when i can afford it. I also had an astoundingly good Cabernet Sauvignon from 2005 that spent 2 years in American Oak, and rocked my socks off, as well as their tasty Bordeaux style Blend "Rubicon".

Bottle prices ranged as low as $9, though most are between 40-100$ or higher, and a number on the regular list are in the thousands. The highest on the list was over $5,000, served over the counter. Kind of hope you get a neat box for that. They have very old wine in the cellar, from the 1800's.

I also got to see some sweet historical stuff, like a wine barrel that was from the 1500's, and had these carvings of monks on it and stuff, i got to touch it and slap it around like a small red-headed child. awesome. I also got to see the very first tasting room to exist in Napa, it's the first door to your right when you enter the chateau. Cool.

I did get to see some cool stuff like one of his Academy Awards, a Golden Globe award, some other awards for filmmaking, music, writing etc. As well as an antique collection of 'light boxes' early film stuff and pre-film motion picture machines and such... Amazing.

Francis Runs a magazine called Zoetrope: All Story that has recently featured art by Guillermo Del Toro (director of Pan's Labyrinth, Hell Boy I and II, and others, like the up-coming Hobbit films) and they had, only a week or so ago had a Magazine release where they had Guillemo's original art displayed there.

I missed the Guillermo show, but I got a free copy of the magazine.

A video I found with an interesting quote from Francis

A bad episode: Flight of the Conchords (no spoiler)

2009-03-28T00:17:00.010-06:00

Last week, sadly to say -since there has been some excellent episodes lately- the Concords had a bum episode.

It was called 'Evicted', Episode 22.

The basic plot idea was good, great even. Filled with potential, and maybe the easiest setup to write songs for, show's songs had no appeal and no sense of humor. On top of that, the dialogue was flat and you could feel them try to be funny. The best parts were the short bookends of them doing STOMP like stuff.

Over all, i'd rate this episode below the misfire that was "A Good Opportunity", Episode 13, because Episode 13 had great dialog and funny story stuff, just with lame songs. Evicted was bad in both worlds, and the saddest part is that the concepts for the situations were so good.

that's all i really wanted to say... ...i guess it was even worse since me and clapper watched it (via the amzing iChat) with his wife too, and so her limited exposure to the show saw little fruit.

It almost has that Murphy's Law feeling, when ever you try to show people stuff that is brilliant, that thing sucks that day. haha.

Important Things: Best New show of 2009

2009-03-23T20:09:00.004-06:00

In terms of 2009,

the best new comedy is easily Demetri Martin's Important Things, absolutely hilarious, and spun around his stand-up comic styles. When i mentioned Big Bang Theory, i'd forgotten that Important Things had come out only this year, and i've been waiting to watch episodes of it with John Clapper... ...out of my virtual hangout schedule, out of mind.

If you haven't seen it, you can watch most of the bits for free at Comedy Centrals website.

I've been a Demetri Martin fan for a little while now, was happy to see his guest appearance on Flight of the Conchords, and its obvious that he's deserved his own show.

Watch it see it live it.

amen.

The Award goes to...Big Bang Theory

2009-03-22T10:41:00.004-06:00

Best "new" (okay, not new, just new in terms of me watching it) Sit-Com of the year,

including me watching some funny shows.... is easily Big Bang Theory. Wow.

After being pressed into My Name is Earl, by huge fans of it, i found the show a genius idea, even with an excellent cast and set-up, but simply directed and produced in a lame, cheesy way. If that show were to go a lot more on the subtle non-Youth-quake skit side of comedy, it could be a hilarious show. It never made me laugh at loud, even though I love the actors and the premise.

Big Bang, even with the hype, won me over and i was laughing out loud while cooking dinner (thank you internet streaming, allowing me to watch shows appropriately from start to finish). One might think that the humor in such a show would be over the heads of most, but its not (or maybe it's just not over my head, so i get it, and assume others are educated enough... but i'm fairly dumb... for a genius). I can see a bit of my writing is hitting a wall when all my sentances end with phrases conjoined by means of parenthesis (just kidding). IQ test... did you laugh at that? If you did, you might be among my peers, with an IQ of over 130 (if you're lucky).

Besides the fact that Big Bang theory reminds me of a number of my friends and myself and our pretension and geekness (minus the addiction to Online gaming), i could stare at Kaley Cuoco (playing the part of Penny) all day long. And for the record; besides that fact that Kaley learned to play tennis at the age of 3, and was a nationally ranked amateur, she graduated highschool at 16, due to her brains... so i feel justified in staring.

Brian capstick kept urging me to watch it.

Thanks Brian, i won't forget you when i come into power.

The Climate Change Debate: Global Warming/Cooling

2009-03-21T02:45:00.015-06:00

I bought and read that book by Gore, An Inconvenient Truth a couple years or so ago, and have thought much about the Global Climate since, especially as i've heard a million people talking about it and all kinds of people in disagreement on it all.

The theory makes sense in its presentation: the thinner the ozone layers, the less "padding" or "insulation" we have, and the earth gets cooler then it should and hotter than it should, yes BOTH.

Think of a sleeping bag, the thick insulation keeps you warm.

Think of a Cooler, the thick insulation keeps your drinks cold.

Thus, the idea of our ozone layer being depleted can both explain extraordinary high temperatures, and extraordinary low temperatures, and turbulent storms.

okay, i oversimplified it all. slap me.

For some, the argument is about whether this current "crisis" is man-caused. I'm not so sure that's the issue. The Ice Age that held the earth before was not man-caused, and it still was a very big issue. Even if it's not man-caused, we'd need to deal with it if could cause something like an Ice Age. Especially since the Ice Age movie sequels aren't very good, and the first was not the greatest either, to be generous.

(note: man messing up the earth is always an issue, of course)

I'm not sure who knows this, but this Thursday a conference began in New York City called The International Conference on Climate Change, for those who deny Global Warming, dismissed as "Climate Change Deniers" by Gore and others.

They have gathered in NYC to discuss the latest science on it, as well as to forge a way forward for their movement, aimed at stopping Barack Hussein Obama II (aka Barack Hussein Obama JR., aka Hussein JR., aka President Obama) and the current Democratic majority congress from bringing in Legislation that would "deal with climate change".

President of the Czech Republic, Vaclav Klaus, was a speaker there and said that "they don't want to change the climate, they want to change us and out behavior. Their mission is to control and manipulate us"

The keynote Speaker at the conference is the world famous MIT meteorologist Professor Richard Lindzen, who said "President Obama has never studied this stuff, since when do you take your orders from someone who has basically a junior high school background."

He pointed out that there are few fields that are as politicized as this, siting that, in his view,

this kind of thing happened a long time ago in America with Eugenics:

In the 20's, where, essentially, people wanted to restrict immigration, so they came up with the notion that there was an epidemic of "feeblemindedness" in the U.S. and that it was due to immigrants from southern and eastern Europe, and then they found scientists to endorse this as "science demands immigration restriction"

(on a sad note, America turned away THOUSANDS of Jewish Germans seeking refuge from Nazi oppression a few years after this, partly on this "science", and partly due to the Great Depression, and even went to the hassle of helping take the land of Palestine to "give back" to the Jewish people, so that they could give them a place to go, instead of the U.S. - read about it at the Holocaust Memorial in Washington D.C.)

Lindzen says the current Climate Change issues are a "perfect" parallel to the Eugenics fiasco, saying "It's the same thing, they invented a story-line then, had [huge names like] George Bernard Shaw and Margaret Sanger and all endorse it"

This was a spin i'd not thought of yet... he went on to say in an news interview at the conference "...the environmental movement today is viewed as virtuous, but 30 years, 50 years from now it might be viewed as the resurgence of imperialism is the west, trying to hold back the developing world, and will be regarded as non-virtuous and hideous."

Heck of a thing for the famous MIT meteorologist to say.

among others in attendance of the convention against "the lie of Global warming" Tom McClintock, a Republican congressman from California (yes, they exist... and Prop 8 passed by a wide margin), Film Director Phelim McAleer (made the film with Gore's face on it called "Not Evil, Just Wrong") They come, with facts to say there ISNT a consensus. They stand against the "so-called solutions" offered by the Obama administration, that the Conference goers say will not help the fake "crisis" and will toss us far further up the path of a serious global recession, as the countries that will hurt the most from it will be the 'developing' (poor) nations.

It is a big deal to deny the existence of Global warming. to show what the "other side" thinks about this Conference:

Kert Davies, Greenpeace research director, speaks about those at the conference saying "The IPPC, the pile of evidence that has accumulated has moved governments around the world and corporations to take action on global warming, and these guys are lost in the wilderness saying that it doesn't exist or isn't a threat"

i'm not a scientist actually (in case you've heard the hype about me, haha) so i'll wait and see.

hmmm.

I also watched a trailer for a new movie/documentary that argues that Global warming is very real, using a person looking back at us from the future as a device. It's called The Age of Stupid, starring Pete Postlethwaite. check it out.

Flight of the Conchords Season 2 verdict: Awesome.

2009-03-07T03:44:00.006-06:00

Flight of the Conchords, or FOTC to some, or FOC to me and my minions, started their second season on a bum episode, but every episode since has been four stars and all laughs.

In the words of Dumb and Dumber they "totally redeemed" themselves, far and above the flat landing of "SE02EP01" as we say in the download business.

I especially have been fond of the "Love is a Weapon of Choice" episode co-starring the gloriously funny Kristen Wiig (beside Tina Fey, the funniest-hottest woman alive... but Kristen isn't married... "so you're saying there's a chance!")

And it surprisingly topped the season's best episode yet, "Unnatural Love" from the week before (which maybe still has the best songs). It was brilliantly fun to take in. Classic FOC, to take a punch-line like 'canine epilepsy' and then to turn it into the core content of the episode.

I totally thought Jermaine "the lips" had a shot at BrahBrah.

Then, to get to meet the Prime Minister and Art Garfunkel in the "Prime Minister" episode and learn what "Garfunkeling" is -not to mention the Paul Simon joke at the end i wasn't ready for. This season has taken my life to new heights, along with Demetri Martin's "Important Things"

even if the next episodes wane, the gavel can be slammed down to say that FOC is continuing to rock, and one of the few shows I tune in for.

Ok, i don't tune in, i watch them later, off the internet. So. I bet you have DVR, well i don't, OK.

Alright maybe i do, for a few weeks at my pops, but no HBO. I do get to DVR Jazz games, and almost should stay here for that alone... I do own the first season on DVD though, for educational purposes.

10 Word Story: No note.

2009-03-06T17:42:00.002-06:00

Saw Molly drop your toothbrush in our mailbox. No note.

Chronicles of a danger-addict.

2009-02-20T02:56:00.003-06:00

California Wine.

A year and half ago, I had planned on rooting myself deep into MooseJaw SK. Now that’s all in the air, or will take a bit of time, and God is asking me into darkness, into the unknown, into adventure and wandering, when I’ve wanted to be locked down and left alone. But no, I’ve past the complaining stage and am here, in California, ready for whatever it is and wherever it may lead (asking for it to take me back to Moose Jaw sooner than later).

I stayed with my pops in Fontana (Southern California, outside LA) from Nov- Dec (besides a few weeks in Hawaii, with my mom), then January back in Sask. Now I’ve spent a week in Utah, visiting family, A couple days in Arizona outside Phoenix, then Fontana for a week, and Now I’m up in Fairfield (Northern California), for a stint, and wondering where exactly to spend this next little bit.

A lot could be said about the last few months.

Today I’ll start with the fact that I’m trying some California wines. Its been a while since I’ve had them, spoiled with great wines brought from around the world to Saskatchewan from Doug Reichel himself.

Tonight I’m having a glass of Kendall-Jackson Sauvignon Blanc, 2006.

It’s OK, I guess, a bit unbalanced and thin, for my taste. We’ll see how it progresses.

At least i'm listing to Alan Jackson's Chattahoochee.

A little Card Trick. one of many.

2009-02-17T06:13:00.001-06:00

summary of me: by you

2009-02-10T22:49:00.003-06:00

Jenna: "My summary of Tony, 'he just has bad jokes'"

We Are All Oppressed: part 1 of my Review of Richard Dawkins' The God Delusion

2009-02-10T15:17:00.006-06:00

I'm on the fence right now. I'm reading a bunch of books and thought i'd offer some thoughts on them. Let's start with Richard Dawkins' The God Delusion, since it's such huge hit.

I'll do a number of these, so this is just the start.

1. We are all oppressed.

Richie Dawkins has made a name for himself, but so far it’s not in valid reasoning per se. Distinguished philosophers shake their heads at his poplar “The God Delusion,” which contributes nothing to the Philosophy of Religion, the question of God, and seems to be unaware of the last 50 years or so of philosophy on the subject.

But, I’ll get to that later, today is about his first chapters.

His early chapters only prove the hypothesis I’ve wondered on before: everyone thinks of themselves as oppressed.

Growing up in a number of different groups, I saw how each group saw themselves as oppressed. When I became a christian, all we saw was how the large atheistic liberal agenda machine was slamming us around and oppressing our rights and our faith. Dawkins sees the tables as turned, and begs us to hear his weak cries through a large and horribly powerful Religious Agenda Machine that threatens the sane existence of intellectuals like himself.

If I hadn’t grown up as I did, I might be inclined to believe him.

Who is right - The oppressed atheists (who DO have to put up with a LOT), or the oppressed Christians (who DO have to put up with a LOT) ?

Sadly, religion does have that military-driven Islam on its side, which somehow finds men is suits to continue to appear on TV and claim it as a religion of peace - as if one man on TV (who is obviously quite westernized) counts more than the thousands holding signs threatening the murder of the entire western world; in downtown London even.

SideNote: Islam lived at peace with Christianity in many countries for many years... as long as they were in charge. But the point is that Christians were once quite safe within the borders of Istanbul, and today they are not.

Dawkins builds a series of Straw-men for his argument on God, beginning by attempting to paint his opponents as dangerous powerful idiots who must be stopped. The first stage is to set-up a situation where atheists, or those closet-creatures who are afraid to admit their doubt, are under the looming thumb of irrational religionists.

It’s always good to be the underdog.

Atheists claim Religious people are privileged, and Religious people claim that the atheists are privileged.

Faith is a blinding, dangerous thing, I think. Whether you believe in God or your belief is that there is no God, and no meaning to life.

Either way you are likely to see yourself as oppressed. It’s part of our Post-Modern era.

One of our key Post-Modern themes is that of suspicion, whether Gays are suspicious of being unjustly treated, or Women (look at the feminist Interpretations of the Bible), or the Atheists, or the Religious Right, or Blacks, or Middle-aged White Men, or Asian Women, or Mexican illegals, all Immigrants, the Rich, the Poor, all you need to do is to name a group and they all can read the same copy of Time magazine and find that their particular group or enclave is being maligned (they can all read the Bible the same way). We are all quite suspicious... not just the feminists who see marriage as a way of man dominating women and imposing ‘traditional’ gender roles.

So... Who is right? Who is really oppressed?

Maybe we all are... ...and in our fear of being oppressed, become oppressors.

Toys and Interpretation Part 2

2009-02-02T17:15:00.003-06:00

An article in the Chronicle of Higher Education relates well to this thinking through of Toys and Interpretation.

The article was written by a sociology professor who applied for a job in a toy store. She wrote about her interview for the job as follows. The professor--a white, middle-aged woman--was interviewed by Olive, an African-American woman:

"Olive told me that she wanted to hire motivated sellers who could provide excellent customer service. Although I didn't have any retail experience, I told her I thought I could do the job. Olive put three toys in front of me: a CD cartridge of a Lara Croft Tomb Raiders video game, a white Barbie in a bikini packaged inside a sand pail to take to the beach, and a black Barbie dressed in a 1970s outfit. Olive said, 'Pick one and sell it to me.'
"I took a deep breath. In my other life I am a professor of sociology who specializes in gender and sexuality studies. Barbie has become a symbol of the postmodernist turn in gender studies; her cultural meaning has been deconstructed and reconstructed by a number of feminist theories. I devote an entire section of my course on sexuality to unpacking Barbie's cultural significance. But far from being helpful, those arguments paralyzed me. The complex race and gender politics of the situaltion--me, a white woman selling a black or a white Barbie to Olive--were simply overwhelming.
"I said, 'Well, you don't have to sell Barbie: girls always want her (mentioning that I had read that the average 10-year-old girl owns eight of the dolls), so I will sell you the CD.' Lara Croft is not exactly a wholesome or apolitical alternative to Barbie. One of the earliest female icons of computer gaming, her long flowing hair, enormous breasts, and crack fighting skills set the standard for the dozens of imitators that followed. I said tha if we assumed Olive had a PlayStation she needed the game because it was the basis for a movie that had just opened. I also said that it was important for girls to be computer literate; as long as their parents approved of the content, girls should be exposed to the same computer games as boys so they could compete in the real world.
"Olive shook my hand and told me I had the job!"

--Christine Williams, Professor of Sociology at the University of Texas at Austin: an excerpt from her book "Inside Toyland: Working, Shopping, and Social Inequality," published by University of California Press

"you don't have to sell Barbie"

I also wondered if you have to sell Tomb Raider, i mean boys don't mind playing an action game where there is a woman with enormous breasts, and girls love the empowerment of the "Action-Star Woman".

I wonder what it means, that you don't have to sell Barbie. Besides the point that Barbie has achieved a high-enough popularity that it sells itself, i wonder why. Are their certain toys that capture an important part of every human's needs as they grow up. Do dolls help serve a certain purpose for little girls, of idenification, of longing to grow into something, of idolizing?

Like toy guns, which, if you don't buy, boys will make (and make anyways) out of a fallen tree branch, or anything that can be held as a gun (like a banana) - Dolls can be a home-made device, and i'll bet were often made in the last 2 centuries. I'll bet there is a vast history of dolls on wikipedia somewhere, waiting for interested people to look up.

Interesting how certain toys and games we play as kids act as a sort of preparation for later experiences in life. I wonder how they can help/hurt our encounters in life, and how important it is to look ahead to experiences that will come later (like falling in Love, marriage, huge Kung-Fu fights) when we are kids playing with toys. I wonder......

Review: Flight of the Conchords: Episode 13 (no spoilers)

2009-01-28T23:55:00.009-06:00

I scanned through my list of free On-Demand HBO episodes and saw it, my dream.

The immortal Flight of the Conchords' 1st Episode to their new and 2nd Season was there, gleaming before me, a comic "new" logo next to the title. Episode 13 was finally at my fingertips.

Flight of the Conchords was easily the Best Comedy of last year, of a long time, even counting The Office, maybe. The brilliantly funny songs and situations along with genius dialogue and characters of gold has had everyone excitedly telling their friends about the 'new show everyone needs to hear about', and has seen something of on YouTube or the Radio.

Instant cult-following and dedication. The first show to get me dressed up for a theme party.

Critic-acclaim and mass obsession by fans memorizing dialogue and song lyrics only grew to millions across the globe, for the very first time, spending their days becoming accomplished at speaking with the New Zealand accent.

Even in strictly conservative circles fans of the Conchords found each other publicly enjoying their comical inheritance. Standing in line for some "We Serve Starbucks Coffee" at Briercrest College, I overheard a college kid humming the first part of the "Business Time" chorus, and saw another kid passing by finish the line and turn to the other with a look of "you know!" on their face. It was beautiful.

Episode 13 began and i enjoyed the new Opening Credits, and thought about the many shows like The Office and Dexter that haven't updated their Opening Credits.

I wont give away the show's content but here are my first thoughts:

1. ...Maybe i shouldn't have watched this alone, maybe i needed my friends with me to make it funny.

2. The dialogue and Story and Characters are all there and good, but...

well....

The songs weren't funny, lacked that certain magical "something", and the episode was easily the worst episode yet. Let's hope it's the worst episode they'll ever make.

Two of the songs had potential, but i sat wondering at how the boys lets it slip by.

The budget was obviously a LOT bigger, and maybe their salaries were big enough that they didn't care. It doesn't make sense: it was written by James Bobin & Jemaine Clement & Bret McKenzie, just like most of Season 1 was, including the awesome "Sally" Opener.

Still, i am sad to say i expected more (even after being warned that everyone was disappointed by it) That was supposed to be the big Season 2 Premiere? I hope its not a sign of things to come.

The opening song especially put a damper and spin on the whole episode that sadly swallowed up the great story-line and a number of amazing dialogue bits.

Most Critics i've read on the episode, so far, all liked it and didn't see the great divide I found between Season 1, and this opening. They admit it wasn't the best-written, but not as nearly disappointed as the crowd of fans i know.

Who knows... maybe when I watch it with Carrie Hilderman and my other devoted Conchord fanatics we'll all laugh and fall in love with it.

Maybe not.

Toys and Interpretation

2009-01-28T15:43:00.003-06:00

As I study the Art and Ideology of the 20th century, i've been musing on the 'meaning' of toys and art and stuff

my favorite toy:

Those who know me know I've never really thought in terms of favorites, but if pressed (and i guess i am) I'd have to lay the burden on the amazing G.I. JOE toys. The crazy amount of movement allowed with the arms, legs, knees and waist, still keeps them as the all-time best action figures... says me. Of course some might complain that the rubber-band-waist-holder-together-thingy broke too easily, but i thought they just gave you a chance to have war-amps in your battles. Did playing with G.I. JOES teach me anything about myself and culture? That's the question right there. It certainly taught me that i viewed things in terms of images and conflicts, and i often found myself making mental-films of conflicts, closing one eye to control the images i played with, not even realizing i was pretending to make movies. I would control my perspective, while playing with the toys and wasn't satisfied with "pretending", but needed the playing with G.I. JOEs to look "good" to me. The cultural teaching might be the importance of imagination, pride, war, and fun, as underlined by the proliferation of such toys, and me being allowed to play with them so much. It subtly painted the subjects of War and fighting in terms of bravery and story. It encouraged me to stand out and fight for things, or at least that those were good ideas worth imagining.

Why do i care about Toys?

Toys are art. Consumer-art might be different than "Fine Art" but it's also much the same. Both communicate things to us in varied and complex ways. What is communicated and how it gets interpreted is also quite important. It is vital, both as artists (everyone is one) and consumers, that we understand interpretation, and understand how pop-culture teaches us and strives to communicate with us (usually the message is "BUY!").

Since interpretation concerns meaning, and as artists we invest a lot of meaning into our works, it becomes increasingly important to understand how interpretation works, as we seek to better accomplish our artistic goals in communicating meaning. We are always communicating something in art, and so, if we aren't aware of the complex array of factors affecting the meaning of an artwork, then we are flying blind and aren't in control of the messages we are making, and the spectrum of interpretations our art is open to. One of the "reasons" (if we would ever put it like this) we make art is so that people interpret them in certain ways, wether a single way, or many. Understanding interpretation allows us to make informed decisions every step of the artistic journey.

I’m Angry That

2009-01-26T16:00:00.003-06:00

I came into the Leptich’s house, went in the kitchen, Oprah was on, overweight teens confronting their emotions, so I watched for a moment. They went into this exercise led by this woman called “I’m angry that” which can be used find out what people are really angry about deep down.

She pulled a kid out of the group and asked to finish the sentence and yelled “I’m angry at !” at her and the girl went off. Soon these deep feeling of rejection, self-consciousness, suicidal thoughts, and all else came out and she was crying and venting a volcano of repressed feelings. Another Kid did it, and soon I was crying right along.

I can be like a middle-aged wife left home alone to clean the floor and cry over Oprah in the afternoon. I can’t handle the whole ‘standing in the face of other human’s real sorrow’ thing. I get it from my mom, who bawls over movies about real wars and battles, where people really did lose their lives. The reality of what it must be like hits me and, in my empathy, I soon breakdown like a weenie of the month.

But I’m not angry that I can breakdown over this stuff.

I’m angry that people have to go through such nightmares.

Moose Jaw Restaurant Review: by Tony and the Critics

2009-01-24T14:34:00.006-06:00

I felt we needed a public account of some kind, to cover the 60 or so establishments selling food in Moose Jaw, so i drew with up a quick list with Dave Le Nouail, and asked some other friends, and here is the consensus we came to, I hope we didn't miss any restaurants...

Please feel free to state your own opinions, and i might consider them, if they are worth considering (some people have bad taste, why deny it?).

the "unknown" ones i have yet to try, and so i ask you to tell me about them.

**Please know this is for Moose Jaw locations only, i'm sure Houston's Pizza in other cities would get a much higher rating.

*******Best to Worst******

--TOP level----

Bobby’s Place (best burger in town, best fish and chips)

Copper Cafe Yvette Moore Gallery (best sandwich’s)

Nits (best Pad thai)

Harwood’s

Quiznos

BP’s (great service award)

-- GOOD level-----

DejaVu (best value award= most for the cash)

Cornerstone Pub and Eatery

Chillers

Hickory Smokehouse

The Burger Cabin (only summer)

Western Pizza (most underrated)

Jaime’s Kitchen

Larry's Car-wash

Urban Apeel

Landscape

Java Express

Coffee Encounters

Smitty’s (ranked higher in the days it was open 24/7)

Hopkins Dining Parlor (most overrated)

The Mad Greek (great food, but a slum atmosphere)

Amuze (Most Over-priced)

Renate's Tea

The Cactus Lounge

Dooly’s

Cordova Bistro (most mixed reviews, some love, many hate: horrible service, food you could make at home better, but great desserts)

Charlotte’s Catering/take out

-- 'OK' Level------

Pita Pit

Taco Del Mar

Dominos

Pizza Hut

Family Pizza

A&W

McDonald’s

Burger King

Subway

Dairy Queen

Calico Junction

Mr. Subway

KFC

Tim Horton’s

--Not So Good Level (But not Crap)------

Houston’s Pizza

Rodo’s

Overseas

Prairie Oasis

Ukrainian Borscht

Four Seasons

Morningsides Cafe (at spa, 4th floor)

Champs

--CRAP LEVEL-----Low quality food.

Big Al’s

Zellers

Co-op Market Place

Humpty’s

Uptown Cafe

The International Cafe

Jade Garden

Saigon 75 / Veroba’s

Nick’s Place

Joe’s Only Seafood

Bonanza

Alaska Andee’s

TJ’s pizza

The Patio/The Dancing Moose

The Ambassdor

Putter Inn Bar and bistro

UnKNOWN--------

Bills Cafe,

Hillcrest dining room

Kwangton Cafe

Carol’s Catering

Video of the Week "WTF Award"

2009-01-19T17:06:00.002-06:00

This week's WFT Video award goes to:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCFJ3LURCtc

do it. I know you want to,

tell them Tony sent you.

The Inn at the End of the Universe

2009-01-08T17:27:00.002-06:00

This week I’m Teaching a Modular at Briercrest College, and staying for free at the Pilgrim Inn, in Caronport. Tonight, I arrived from a dinner in Moose Jaw to a dark hotel, courtesy to a power outage of all Caronport. I used the emergency lights to find my Room, went into the darkness and pulled open the curtains to let the full moon light my room up.

This is my life right now, I thought. Living in Hotels.

I left the crushing summer I had, to return to Canada, end of August, to a time of waiting, and eventually an end of a visa, which forced me to return to USA, where I went to spend November and most of December with my Pops in Fontana, CA and work on my MFA. I didn’t really know more than one or two people down there, and didn’t see them.

Half of December I spent in Hawaii with my Mom at her place, then back to Fontana, two days later Utah, two days later Moose Jaw, and now the Pilgrim Inn.

Good thing my laptop’s battery was charged.

I don’t feel too horrible, but the thought crosses my mind that I am completely alone, but not utterly alone.

I have friends I get to visit, talk to on skype, girls who react well to me, want me for a while in many ways, I get to be loved by some of the most amazing people ever. I’m not utterly alone.

But I don’t have a place to call home, I’m living as a wanderer, with my roots yanked up from the soil I wanted to plant them into in Moose Jaw by the loss of my Visa, and now I’ve only a couple days to decide what move to make yet. I’m so tired of making moves. I’m tired of being ripped from my community. I travel alone, and I return to my room at the Inn alone. My friends can’t share that constant presence humans were designed for, girls don’t stay or are knocking on the wrong door with me. Anywhere I go I will be only visiting, and here, in my home of the past ten years, I’m forced to only visit.

I’m tired of moving, I thought the end of college would end that too, I want to settle down and build into something that really matters: a community: a family of my own.

I’m not complaining, but need to express my weariness and, like Abraham before me, look up at the stars and wonder if I trust myself that God has called me to follow him into the Promised Land.

Not sure how much I believe in the Promise Land anymore. Travel has a way of chipping away at it.

Can I be allowed to return to my apartment in the Upper Room and take a rest for a while, and catch my breath?

There is only peace in us where there is peace between us and heaven, and when there is peace between us and heaven, we have peace abundant in all calamity.

Is the peace I’ve had in college and Moose Jaw shown now to not be the peace of God, but of people? Was it never God’s peace that held up my head, but rather the security of a community?

There is a peace I got when I left Moose Jaw for Fontana in November, or maybe that was the awesome freedom of giving up.

I’m at The Inn on the End of the Universe, trying to figure out what giving up, being a wanderer, and peace, all really mean.

I’m sorry God that I don’t expect anything from you.

I argue with myself and fall asleep in the darkness.

Now, in the morning, I press on and get on with asking myself what we’ll do today.

religous "Blending"

2008-12-07T21:52:00.004-06:00

If you want to blend in, in any church or cult, be it a Lutheran supper or Wednesday muffins at Heaven’s Gate Cult or a typical Jehovah Witness lock-in, you can very simply, when the meal/service/kool-aid time is over, start putting away chairs. When they see you put chairs away they know you are one of them, and not just one of them, but a solid ‘top-notch’ believer. This key might save your life someday.

I used it at a Morman christmas supper yesterday night and I had folks (yes, it was a woman in a classic ugly mormon moo-moo-ish dress..that was light blue denim) chatting with me at length, and, when mentioning a brother of hers, she used the insider phrase ‘he’s not a member’ to differentiate him from one of “us.” Even a dread-headed model like me who didn’t close his eyes or fold his arms during their prayers can fit in and be assumed a mormon. See..... I told you. Cleaning up, especially in the chair-putting-away department is key. You could become a bishop.

All you need is a religion and a meeting involving chairs.

Note on Praying, if you keep your eyes on the religious leader until everyone closes their eyes -you’re safe. No need to fold arms or use whatever posture they choose to get their heavenly reception tuned in right. So, unless you take a posture of “what do I do” like you look around at everyone when someone says ‘let us pray’ or ‘lets bow our heads’ or ‘it’s carpet time’, prayer requires no effort because they can’t see you.

Muslims are harder to fit in with because of certain religious fashions (the Sikh too), and because depending on the muslim praying fashion or sect, they could have their eyes open. But you’ll likely never need or want to “fit in” with them so, no worries.

For catholic masses, or any “pew” situation, of course the chair trick is useless, so one must take things up a notch to be left alone. The key there is to wear a suit (white shirt should be choice, as some sects use them religiously [pun intended]...unless its a black church, but white can pass their too, but no ‘top-notch’ rewards) and you must shake peoples hands and smile and carry a large ‘scripture-esque’ book with you, and you’ll be assumed to be on the “in”. If you want people to think you’re top-notch, then say something like “you’re a blessing” to the pastor/preist/speaker/talk-giver/juice-pourer dude, and everyone will think you are a top-notch slinger in that religion. Babes will follow. And remember, you are always “visiting here from canada/california/put-interesting-place-here”. I once had a leather journal of mine mistaken for a bible (which is funny, cuz it doesn’t look like any bible-leather cover I’ve ever seen, but hey, points are points)

The christmas supper was the first Morman thing I’ve really done in a long while in terms of the psuedo-christian cult social circuit. My dad and step-mum and my baby sis went, so I had addition introductions and people would say things indicating they knew all about me like “enjoying the warm weather for a change?” and I’d think “how do they know I’ve been living in canada....?” so... I guess my dad shares more about me than I ever imagined. I got invited by a mom or two to their “firesides” or “singles social events” ... They must’ve been convinced by my chair moving that I was a mormonite ... They’ll be sad when I never show up on a Sunday...although I bet they have daughters who would be awesome sacrifices for the Creech volcano. Maybe I should go to a mormon singles event.....um....nahhhhhhhh. I’d rather hit myself in the face with a tack-hammer... ...unless I’m bored one night.

Good thing I rarely get bored.

the problem

2008-10-31T07:39:00.002-06:00

The problem with saying almost anything about God, is that God won't fit properly into almost anything that can ever be said.
what i mean is, you say God is 'merciful', and the guy to your left says "but he is also just", because to SAY that he is merciful somehow cutts him down to only that trait, and whenever you hear someone saying that, you automatcally start thinking "yeah, but".
people who say "yeah, but" to everything are annoying as hell.
i know, i've been one of them, and i know them.
you start to say "God has been showing me that he is like 'this', and they say "but he's also like that"

maybe this happens because God is not like us, he is ultimate.

if someone says "bob is nice" i'm not dumb enough to think that bob is ALWAYS nice, but that merely in general, bob is nice.
Since God is an eternal being, and since i'm kinda locked into agreement with the way the ancient greeks talked about God, i tend to picture him having immutatble qualities, like never lying.
so if he is something, its not 'in general', its 'eternal.'

try to slip past a pastor that God is love, but only 'in general'.
"in general God is a loving guy"

because whatever trait you tack onto God must extend into eternity and a trait he can't have one second or another, its really hard to talk about him being only one thing.
if someone in a group is learning that God is 'calling us to obedience', someone else is learning the God 'accepts them the way they are, and calling them to hear that he simply loves them'

so, when you say God is wrathful, your friend will say "but he's also happy with us"

and we all grow weary of giving preludes to all our comments on God saying "listen, i know that God is wrathful and just, and that he asks us to follow Jesus and that he loves a contrite heart, but he has been showing me that he smiles at me today, even though i feel like a horrible sinner"

what a mouthful, when you just want to say that God is happy.

maybe i'm wrong, since we do react funny when someone says "mike is nice" and in our minds we are thinking of how much a jerk mike can be and we toss out "but he can also be a jerk"
but maybe that' different.

maybe we should see God as a changing person when it comes to certain qualities.
maybe it'd be better to say "God is patient, but don't piss him off"
or to say that "God loves us, in general" and leave open the implication that sometimes it changes.
it becomes hard to hold the two truths taught in the ancient scriptures that
1. God hates sinners (read the Psalms) and
2. God loves sinners.

can we just say "sometimes God loves sinners and sometimes he hates them"?

its seems wrong to go there.

we want a simple rule- "God loves sinners always" end of story.

if only the Bible and God both would just stop doing their own thing and just follow the simple rules we'd like to impose on them.

i think maybe its not as simple as "sometimes" with God, but that he has this eternal qualities that show up in or world in ways we can only read but as changing, or fickle.

I think this blog goes into the category of things i'll read lately and realize i didn't communicate it properly , or that i'm like "no no, thats all wrong" about.
thats what happens when you think about something, then right about it later. you end up writing when you're NOT thinking and how can that ever be good?

sometimes.

2008-10-29T03:06:00.003-06:00

sometimes when i drive home, like late tonight, i can't imagine my life headed anywhere at all, and i just expect God to send some car flying from a side-street through a stop sign at me. i'd die in that automobile accident and pop up in heaven and be like "ok, THAT explains why my life has been like it has been lately"

but sometimes i don't feel like that.

alone.

2008-10-12T12:14:00.006-06:00

loneliness is relative.
the nights spent in groups, alone.
the laying in bed, alone.
being alone is something you can do anywhere, with anyone, when you are not with the person you really want to be with.
i wish writing a blog could solve my lonely sum, where i always equal one
i wish understanding some concept could crash it into a pile.
i wish the issues i had four years ago weren't still the issues i have today.
i wish new romances would make me deaf to the sound of my own heartbeat that's not for them
i wish God had not waited me out, and proved me poor, impatient, impoverished, and revealed how weak my trust in him was.
i wish i could write enough songs to express it and pray through it and fight it, join it, feel it off of me
i wish i didn't have to try.
i'm so tired of trying.
i wish i could cry it out.
I wish God seemed more of an author and less of a editor.

i wish God would let my heart change, or that he'd change this world

i want to constantly apologize to my friends and family "i'm sorry i'm still such a sad stupid boy" when God wants me to be a man

I don't know if i know who i am anymore, and i don't think i like who i know myself to be right now.
i can read the christian type "find your identity in Christ"
which to me sounds like "create a black hole by blinking your eyes"
if i could find Christ, maybe i could find out who i really am, maybe i'd have an identity again.

i realized recently that the problem with being good with words at all is that no believes a single word you say.
The people i've ever said "i Love you" to haven't believed me.
and i find that all my poetic honesty is labeled dishonest simply because it is poetic.
no wonder poets are often so lonely - they are good with words, and we are afraid to believe them.

no one believes me when i talk anymore, and i feel like my mouth is wasted on such a life.
how can being good at communicating and connecting with others alienate you and cut out your tongue?
how does it cause you to end out alone?

it seems everyone i talk to knows a Tony that doesn't exist, and the sad thing is, is that the real Tony still does exist, as shy, alone, and thoroughly insecure about being alone as ever. If i had some arch-nemesis he'd find this out and play on it to lead me down a path of destruction.
maybe he already has.
i feel destroyed, the best parts of me have all but slipped away.

let me loose of this listless life and loneliness,
or perhaps i'll pretend to be OK

if you're lost in the woods long enough every free place to step looks like a path.
if you're lost in the woods there are no paths.

Obama interviewed by Rick Warren at Saddleback Church before the Election.

2008-10-03T04:15:00.005-06:00

Convo

2008-10-02T15:31:00.001-06:00

Tony "i used to date lots and lots and lots and lots of girls"

Kim "was that when you had short hair?"

haahah

Solutions

2008-09-24T17:33:00.002-06:00

G.K. , one of my best'est pals ever, once told me:

The riddles of God are more satisfying than the solutions of man.
-

Anthony is

2008-09-18T01:32:00.002-06:00

This was on Facebook:

Anthony is a lot of things (status update, 1:54 am Sep 17)

John Paul Trammell commented (4:45am Sep 17 )

But a Fool is not one.

anthony thomas creech commented (1:34 am Sep 18)

really? ...i always fancied myself a fool. Perhaps it is the most true thing about me, endlessly foolish.

But what men are, in the middle and in the end, are different. A foolish man who hopes on the right starry light can be revealed as wise in the end, though scorned in the middle.

i wouldn't mind that at all.

buy it while it lasts

2008-09-11T14:24:00.003-06:00

my new friend at The House of Hunt recently pointed out a new item hitting the market that i'm sure you'll not want to miss.

Tired of all that secular-trash-devil-music used on Guitar Hero and Rockband?

Still want to hit buttons to a beat and a TV screen and feel like a musician without all the hard work of really learning anything?

then i've got just the thing for you:

Guitar Praise (click to get more details)

Proof that as Christians we have no need of creating Rock Anthems worthy of notice to make it on a video game

what can i say about this?

2008-09-11T14:11:00.004-06:00

This is pretty much the future of all music.

My great friend (yea, even a Friend of Sinners) John Clapper, sent these to me to give me an idea of the kinds of things some churches do to "attract young people"

i think you'll find this priceless

now this next one has a dance i'm memorizing for next Sunday,

To Not Be Spoiled

2008-08-27T02:31:00.004-06:00

Rummaging through my room up here in Canada, im finding forgotten effects of mine that seem to arrive from the depths of the sea, rather than recent experience.

A piece of wood -carved from a branch camping last summer- sits on a shelf and i stare at it asking "why?"

I always fight two oddly converging movements in my will

1. to have tidiness (which allows me to relax and enjoy a space, or work in it)

2. to hold on to stupid crap.

Since i first ventured overseas years back and witnessed poverty and personally lived on an extreme few possessions, i've held a commitment to regulating how much i own.

i'm only an owner of so many shirts and so many pants, etc.

needless to say that i could go on for hours about how i got to that place,

but walking into my little palace on Saskatchewan Street in Saskatchewan, i think i've found myself a betrayer, maybe even a deserter of my high-ideals.

so now its the Sally Ann and the Junkyard for most of this pile; possessions fighting to rob me of my freedom, heart for people, and life in what really matters.

where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

your heart chases what you put your money into, as money chases what you put your heart into.

i've treasured a lot of worthless crap in my day, and i need an annual release from the materials of mayhem that even the most innocent object can become.

So far, i've only seen 6% of the earth

2008-08-26T13:37:00.003-06:00

Kingsnake

2008-08-02T15:28:00.002-06:00

Little known fact about Paul Creech (my brother and the king of the free world).

he'd sign his name and follow it with his own bestowed title... "Kingsnake"

We all had little Alter-Ego nicknames we'd use of ourselves in our private writings and drawings...if you want to call what 11-14 year-olds write "writings"

Herbie would draw "H C Cool" on stuff

i was, as always, an unimaginative follower, and used "T C Cool"

if find anymore i'll dish them out, you must understand that they were an extremely important part of our growing up.

Lord of the Fly

2008-08-02T00:49:00.004-06:00

Flies, pff. Flies.

flies suck. i hate flies like Taco Bell hates MacDonalds- ( a LOT)

i hate flies like Warren G hates listening to the latest Snoop Dog record.

i hate them like a bloated pirate hates a wench kicking him in the belly

here it is :

yesterday i sit down to the desk of glory to write, or do homework, or taste the rainbow or something,

and a Fly - out of nowhere- lands on my arm. He jumps a foot back, and all those Fly-lands-on-you feelings start racing up my skin. he lands on me again like a Fat girl on the small guy at the party, and I'm swatting and twitching like I'm in an insane asylum.

the little bits of my own hair that touch my face start to morph into flies attacking me, and i constantly rub odd parts of my skin that sense suspicious vibrations.

i am instantly aware that i have a fly in the room, and i won't get squat done until that little skin terrorist is dead.

i grab a paper and he disappears like a beat child. i am ok with this, except for his landing on my legs and feet when i try to type again and i start to shake and Jump like a Pentecostal at the Azuza Street Revival.

i went and cried and rocked back and forth on the sofa.

today he showed up again, but lingered just a TAD too long on some mail from West America Bank, and i dropped him like a Japanese Bomb on Pearl Harbor.

the fly is dead.

but still the hair on my body shifts and i can feel invisible bugs landing on me and moving around on my skin.

life rules.

i need a hammer i can squash into my face.

Tinman Blog.

2008-07-24T13:53:00.008-06:00

after much research, or none, ive decided.
I have no heart.
i'm like a waste of an artichoke, you get to the center of me and its blank.
i don't know if i can feel anything. i think not.
wait- scratch that, i can. i can worry and feel anxious, get lonely, laugh, feel unloved, feel appreciated, i can feel the pleasures of a good scare, a good kiss, a good flick, a good game, or a good converstaion.
i can feel inspired, and know when my friends are disappointed in me, or that they love me, but in the feelings department i'm like a offshore bank.
i wonder if i'll ever be able to love someone and feel more than that common anxiety of wanting others to like you.
don't go dramatic on me, i'm not being sad or... dramatic.
but i know it.
i sit and observe myself, and become astounded at the pessimisms that have grown up and encased me
for a really open guy, its tough to get through to me arriving at "feelings"
friendship i got down, but too many girls have had to sit across from me, trying to unlock me like i was a vault or a rubik's cube.
i try to tell them that others have done so and found the treasure inside to be less than what they expected, less like treasure and more like constant frustration.
its not like i lock myself up like a vault.
its more like i'm an open vault, and you go in and find nothing.
no apologies, i told them it was empty.
oh well, no one beleives me.
i'm sure i'll fall in love one day.
"sure" being loosely equivalent to "why not, i'm a sexy beast"

I was reminded yesterday that God has chosen to give me a chance at love-relationships, and to have a wife.
will he really bring me someone who'll actually like me for me- a potty mouthed artist theologian with the ability to out-talk Rush Limbaugh ?

Chicks don't me cuz they can't push me around.
ha

or because i'm the weirdest human being alive (not including celebrities, who get paid to be stupid and weird)
or maybe i'm insanely lame.
i feel insanely lame, the books that i read even call me lame.

i'm reading Richard Dawkins and he's not as bright as he claims to be.
i'm tired of empty arguments that are more limp than a Mormon in his wedding day.
i think i'll go back to GK Chesterton and enjoy my life again.

i like a good salad too.

Good nose or Bad nose part deux

2008-07-19T01:41:00.005-06:00

Time to VOTE- which nose is better, more "attractive" and, ultimately Perfect.
I think it's an easy win for Ashley Zarate, but now you can decide.

The Happiest Man in the World

2008-07-12T03:57:00.001-06:00

Mailbox Explosion

2008-07-10T02:36:00.002-06:00

MAILBOX EXPLOSION

2008-07-08T21:16:00.005-06:00

I used to have a mailbox,

they were two boxes in one -our neighbor's and ours, in the shape of a house, with a cute little roof with wooden shingles.

but no more.

I come home on the night of the 4th of July, and Rainman met me to tell me that he had heard it, and missed who had done it.

I pulled pieces out of the street, called the cops (had a great conversation with the cop about everything from how to get out of speeding tickets to our both changing to Apple - how that was like driving a Pinto for years and then finding that you could have been driving a Porsche for much the same price)

In the morning i found my neighbors (whose box had stayed intact) had set their box back up on the wood.

The Pope and Me in Washington DC... that has a ring to it

2008-07-05T04:26:00.002-06:00

When i was in DC for a week in April with my mommy, The Pope (Benedict) happened to come to America for the 1st time; it was also the 1st time a Pope has been to America since the clergy sex-abuse scandal rocked the U.S. Catholic Church in 2002. It has cost the U.S. Church more than $2 billion in settlements to victims of abuse and has bankrupted six dioceses.
the day this picture was taken was also the popes 81st birthday... how cool is that,
it's all true folks.

Obama... yeah.

2008-07-05T03:47:00.000-06:00

Where i Am today

2008-06-19T10:05:00.005-06:00

It’s 1:00 pm as I start to type, not hungry yet for lunch. I never get hungry for lunch when I’m thinking and writing. Lunch will come later.

I trod out the words on a large-flat screen monitor I’ve set up on my old art-table, pulled from under a pile of canvases and picture frames in my old room.

I’ve set-up in the front room of my mom’s house in Suisun California. The desk is near the middle of the room, with most space in front of it, lit with golden light through large drapes. The front grass is mostly dead, mowed for the first time in months. The house is quiet and it’s my first time here without my abuelita (grandma) alive and around to constantly insist on me eating every 15 minutes.

I wanted to see what would happen if I tried to write in the middle of an open room, but now I feel like a security guard at his little desk in the front hall of the National Air and Space Museum, with planes and space-capsules to look at.

I’m back home for the summer from teaching video production in Canada, and it’s been so long since I spent more than 5 days straight in California. I feel alien and at home at the same time.

I’m a 6 year-old boy dressed up in his father’s business suit sitting in a meeting full of executives, hoping they won’t ask me any questions. But I guess I have enough gall to show up to the meeting and toss in my 2 cents, even to correct the VP to my right when he declares that the economy won’t bounce back. After all, you’re only 6 once.

After a pause, and recognition of my need for some food, I realize that this summer is going to be the most different part of my last 4 years, even though in those years I lived in Canada and spent a spell in China, Hong Kong Romania and Germany, between doing other things like record CD’s, play and write music with incredible musicians and friends, and become a college teacher and digital filmmaker.

It’s like I’m at the movies and the opening credits are finishing, and the first character’s are about to be presented, and I couldn’t be more excited, though I have no reason why.

My visa for next year got rejected, because my new boss changed my Position Profile, that outlined how I do more filmmaking then film teaching. I remember that I need to finish my application for Canadian Residency, and I think of how it’s been a week since I cracked open my Bible, and if there was a time to seek God, it is now.

I get stuck thinking of all the things and updates I should write to you all, and they will come. I could start by saying that this last year I asked myself what I should be doing to further myself and in December I applied foolishly (and hastily) to the Academy of Art University for a Masters in Fine Arts for Motion Pictures and Television. I was surprised to get accepted, and started full-time in January on-line (they have the best online stuff I’ve ever seen..but then again they teach web-designers now don’t they… so they should)

So from January till mid-May, I worked from 8 to 5 or 6, and went home and did school from 6 till sleep, and had no weekends or friends. Now I’m on my paid vacation from my job (which I might not get to do next year) and in the middle of my first week doing School on-campus in San Francisco, thinking of how I’m glad I only have to commute 2 days a week.

And now I really should eat, and talk to God about this life I’m trusting him with.

Body Break

2008-05-05T12:55:00.001-06:00

It's time to get fit. My body aint the piece of easy management it used to be.
You've gotta do SOMETHING to stay/get into shape when you pass 25, no matter what you look like.
life is too short to be fat when you're 25+ years old.

Here is a video of me, when i was a young fat kid (please forgive the spanish swearing, i was young).

it's time to get in shape

2006-01-04T14:08:00.000-06:00

When I became a Christian I took, what some might call, a leap of faith. However, for me it was not quite a leap, as much as a push, or a shove into something I really could never accept outside of a miracle. The history of philosophy has rightly shown us that one question leads to another, rather than to any ‘final’ answer, and surely our whole world has been brought into question. My whole world was brought into question by Jesus Christ, who did not rest at winning my mind over to the Christian worldview, but took my heart as well. He speaks to me in lots of ways, but sadly I have come across no way of controlling these conversations so that I can sit back and scrutinize them with my old questioning eyes. I wish I could meet him at a church or a bar, like those who ran into him in the first century. I wish I could chat with him in the garden, and see what his eyes have to say. But I can’t. I am stuck in a world held by God and mankind to be in question, with only a hope and a Bible.
It has been my recent conviction that evangelicalism, as a shoot growing out of the enlightenment, has pretended to be able to box up this thing called “God’s word” into a Bible. It supposes Humanity can learn the ways of the historical-critical method, master linguistics and archeology, and thus be able to say with confidence “Thus saith the Lord.” This is easy to see, because when you go to Bible college they teach you that you can’t say “Thus saith the Lord” unless you can prove that the Bible teaches it, and you have to be able to prove, using the science of hermeneutics, that what you think the Bible teaches about something is really what those who wrote the Bible wanted it to teach. You can think that Paul or John had meant a certain thing, and then you can take a class on inter-testamental literature and think that he and God were saying something completely different.
When the Word, was something that visited people and someone who became flesh and who was God, when the books of the Torah meant what Jesus opened the disciples eyes to able see (despite the fact that Old Testament professors for centuries would disagree with Him), things were different then they are now, and you depended on your faith in a God unseen and uncontrolled, not on what you could prove the Bible taught. Evangelicalism sometimes has the foundation of the Bible at the expense of the foundation of Christ himself. If our faith is altogether tied to the Bible, and the Bible is a thing that is known through science, then our faith depends on science and you can use science to tear the Bible apart (as many do) and you can use science to try and put it back together again (as many also do). Either way it seems that the academy is the judge. Remember that though the academy calls God into question everyday, in Christ, God has called the academy into question in eternity.

Was the Bible meant to be a book that God inspired so that we could hold onto something concrete in this world, something we could study and we could pull universal principals out of? Why or why not?

Is hermeneutics a valid judge of what we can say “thus saith the Lord” about? Or do we need more, or do we need something completely different than hermeneutics, something more like Jesus opening up the scriptures for us –which cannot be proved but only told? Why or why not?

How does one hear from God? Do they use science to prove that the Bible teaches a particular point and then that point is what God has to say (and if they’re a pastor they find some way to teach this point to their congregation)? Or do they merely reach out to Christ in faith saying things like ‘speak lord and I will listen’ and ‘Lord have mercy on me a sinner’ and believe that He can and will save them and speak to them, no matter what anyone says? Why or why not?

Prick Patrol

2005-11-25T14:41:00.000-06:00

hey everyone. my name is Tony and sometimes i am a prick.
some have said to me "you're just a big puritan prick" (maybe i even said it to myself). And to that i think.. yeah. i also wonder "what exactly is a puritan...are we speaking historically here, like the great awakening kind of prick.. or..is that a 'the Simpson's' style label attempting to be more humorous and idea driven then 'literally accurate', endowed with a taste of sarcasm to get some deep truth outta me. i don't know, but i am both bothered and proud to be a prick... i guess part of me thinks...hey I"M FINALLY A MAN!!
i used to be an extreme people pleaser and i'd only ever do mean things to people if there was some great multitude there that would make me their King for being so funny and mean. I had too low of self-esteem. no real backbone to confront people or to do anything that would make those i respected mad at me or disagree with me , so.. in that sense, i am a happy prick.
but i also think to myself, why the crap am i a prick? obviously i've been enough of one so that when someone like Luke Flaming says "tony, your a prick" i respond, "yep". But why?
'Tony' i ask myself...

'where is the fruits of the Spirit?'

'oh they're there...sometimes' i respond

'but why aren't you living in them all the day'

'i try... kind of ... sometimes'

'why are you a prick? why aren't you meek like Christ'

'Christ was only meek towards some people, and if i am meek i want it to be because i trust Christ, not because i have low confidence in myself. actually i think i am more confident in myself, not as boastful or prideful, nope, i think I'm a thousand times more okay with myself, and so i don't need to find my approval from other people'

'so you're saying what? that God told you that you are okay being a prick?'

'no, i just mean that.. i dunno, i think people who are out to please and obey God rather man will ALWAYS appear to be a prick to certain people... like Peter in his speeches in Acts, at Pentecost... the Pharisee were like "that prick cant talk to us like that..we are children of God!!!!" .. so shouldn't i expect, as i am more secure in God, and i don't speak out because of insecurity, that ill appear more of a prick to people?'

'Tony...Tony, tony, tony... this is not a discussion of how you APPEAR to people, but of who you ARE... you respond 'yep' to someone calling you a prick, not asking if you "appeared" to be one."

'okay you got me there'

'and all that doesn't justify actions that grieve the Holy Spirit, that aren't growing from the Fruit of the spirit'

'yeah you are right, i guess. but you know...the fruit of the Spirit doesn't LOOK like how we'd expect all the time, look at how Paul wrote about certain people in his letters, or how Jesus acted toward people...we'd go, "oh i don't know if thats FRUIT!!! doesn't seem very kind or patient, or loving..there's gotta to be a better way", some fruit doesn't appear to be what we'd call 'fruit', and we think "fruit" is everyone walking around saying encouraging things about everyone and smiling and praying for each other in Greek and talking theology and not getting angry about how people are twisting Gods words and offending HIM, Calling themselves Kingdom workers when they probably have no part in Christ, "fruit" we think is telling everyone that God loves them and is never angry at them, its going to Briercrest and attending all chapels, its enjoying and worshiping God, even if you cant stand the music or the people playing the music, its thinking YOU are wrong all the time, and that it can't possibly something wrong with others that bothers you, cant be chapel, cant be Dwanye Uglem, much less his "preaching", no... it must be you cuz you are a sinner saved by grace..and not a new creation that has no need of insecurities or attempts to look holy, even if by thinking your a terrible sinner all the time and calling that 'humility'. -p.s. if THAT is humility ..then how could God, CHRist, be humble, since he was not...IS NOT a sinner at all, (except that Christ took our sin upon himself...but not because he thought LOW of himself, but because he Humbled himself..they aren't the same thing.'

'well, tony, thats all very true and wonderful...'

'uh huh... your silence is scaring me'

'yeah well.. all that you said may be the most deep, prophetic, truth- busting out the wrong ideas and ways of the masses, ushering a new era of salvation and grace the world hasn't seen since ST. Francis....but....'

'but...'

'well. what does all that have to do with anything...we are speaking about YOU, about why you know that you are a prick sometimes, why YOU hold back from the spirit, why You hold back from Love and live the life a cynic too much, why you are afraid of letting go of your bitterness because you seek Justice, why you still hide anger at people and things that is only God getting angry and living inside you, and why you get pissed off at stuff when God would shower grace and understanding and patience.'

'you're right, im a prick'

' TONY, YOU ARE NOT A PRICK'

'yes i am, don't ham it up wth me, i know who i am, i know what i think and say, to may best of friends, to my mom, to the people i love more than anything, i know how bad a lover or boyfriend i can be, have been, how i am afraid of marriage and parenthood because i know i'm soooo fricking rotten'

'TONY, shut up... please just Shut UP!!!... ... YOu are a new creation in Christ.. weren't' you just ranting about that?... those fears, those sins, those thoughts, are not ALL YOU, besides being the devils, which, lets admit, a bunch of it probably is...it is the sin in you, the sin Christ put away so that, if you ADD ALL THAT UP< YOU DON'T GET WHAT MAKES UP "YOU", YOU have been started a new, in Christ you are not a sinner, you have the ability to LOVE, to do what only the one good Christ could do before, his Spirit is in YOU, all the YOU that LOVES God, and Loves others and CRYs at night for those you do not yet know God, all of you that seeks God and hates not having him here to walk in the cool of the day with, ALL SUCH THING ARE YOU! you are made up of what GOd says you're made up of, this is not a decree where you can be a prick or get a gal pregnant (or at least try to, over and over again) and then say "hey thats not me, thats the sin Christ died for, the real wouldn't do that, therefore i have no need to stop or repent!!" but then the one saying that would not be the REAL YOU CREATED IN GOD, tony the point is you have a choice to live in the new YOU of faith and love, or repentance and forgiveness, the one who walks away for sex because you LOVE GOD too much and LOVE her too much , not because you know you could never get away with such an act in Caronport without SOMEBODY finding out, its not about excusing stuff, but about knowing you have an opportunity to live with God today, following him today, You are not a prick tony creech, you're not "full of shit", you are God's child, yes in desperate need of hugs, but his child nonetheless.'

'yeah i do have a problem thinking that i'm guilty all the time, forgetting how much i am Forgiven, i carry my sin on and on, and don't let it go, don't forgive myself, which keeps me form believing that i can do good, which makes living in the Spirit and living for God impossible'

'yes, tony, remember a couple sundays ago?'

'yes i was confront with the idea of communion and the forgiveness of Christ, his blood, his body...and i realized in him i can be forgiven and i don't have to be a 'sinner' anymore but a veritable "saint", like Francis!!!!, i had my heart swell in me and rise upon the crest of a wave i could not control and He said, I FORGIVE YOU, and my heart broke for joy and i felt like God loved me and forgave like i haven't in years, i felt ...NOt... Guilty...knowing what i deserve....oh how precious that communion IS!!! how sweet the loss of all my guilt and pains, all my self hatred, and this done not by me forgiving myself or psychology, not by counseling, but by the blood of the one who didn't forget me, who did not hide in His love for me but who came back and showed that he wouldn't let me go without the greatest of fights, that gives me his LIFE his Spirit so that i can fight, i fight i WILL'

'tony, i love these talks'

'me too.. i had FORGOTTEN HOW CHRIST DIED and FORGAVE ME!!! i am not such a prick! i am not one constantly caught being bad by God, but one God gave himself to that i might- impossible of impossibles- do GOOD and LOVE and be SELFLESS, ,..wow wow wow
i need a minute just to take all this stuff in... you know what this means???!! this forgiveness!!!!!'

'take all the time you need, tony, take all the time you need'

the great Alcohol talk

2005-11-25T13:09:00.000-06:00

the great alcohol debate, new and full of stuff to read! check it out yo

Okay so.......my friend Jay Anderson posted on his myspace about Christians and drinking and how the North American Church has made the drinking of alcohol some huge bad scary thing...i mean being addicted to the stuff is a terrible, terrible, thing, drunkenness has cost many thier fathers and mothers, etc. etc.... but it does not justify the 'easy righteousness' actions of those who wish to look good, as if it all had to do with not drinking a beer ever....
we've been way off the mark for a long time... so this is my (somewhat impassioned, somewhat playful and inquiring) response to Jay's post... (i actually posted it there too)

AMEN AND AMEN, i've always that it was soooo funny, all this about alcohol being some big deal... how when we join ministries they almost always require us to sign something saying that we wont drink alcohol (i even did this myself, with my band once). i mean, COME ON! Christ couldn;'t pastor most churches in america, or be a missionary in almost every mission organization i can think of, because THEY ARE TOO BIG OF PRUDES (yeah, and me calling them 'big prudes' doesn't mean they aren't otherwise amazing people or that i haven't been exactly like them, this is no pointing the finger-fest, just thoughts on how is it is to make 'holiness' into a workable thing we can accomplish on our own). Today's religious population deemed 'protestant' for the most part couldn't accept is "dangerous" styles and behavior (is 'prudes' a word? if it isn't then, its substitute is this phrase "big puritan pricks", hehehehe, okay so the puritans weren't all pricks, but the whole legalist door was opened and definitely walked down... and i am not a subject on that time period and i wont go thinking that God didn't want them to go 'legalistic' back then.it's HIS church. i mean i love ole Jonny Edwards as much as the next amazing theologian, the best america ever had next to Donald Bloesch, and i don't think he was anything like a prick, but he's part of that movement, i mean i'm not condemning anyone here, these are the roots to much of what i love about america, but it has turned into an misunderstanding of holiness, and perhaps Edwards took the sinners in the hands of an angry God thing too far, maybe God is not so predictable as systematic theology would have us believe -not that he was like that, i love him. A LOT) Christ is too much of a God follower for us to handle, he will choose HIM over 'man' any day of the week, and i for one, US, we will join him, to the false accusations of the pharisees and loser -christ-wannabees out there all trying to look good at the cost of following the one who is good, and who says we are good, even if we get addicted to having a few too many beers, even if we ever...GOd FOR BID...SIN!! (hey you gotta look at these heart wrenching issues lightheartedly, cuz, hey man they are over our heads and out of our control, God mysterious love of us, is all we have going for us, not being 'right' about any of these issues, no matter how much i blog or argue or ramble)
i wish the fruits of the Spirit were a prerequisite for a ministry job and not stuff like " i will not touch a drop", i hope jesus doesn't show up at most christian weddings in North America, he might drop a bunch of cases of the best wine heaven could handle in the party and HE'll get kicked right out and have his "ministry credentials" pulled if he does not repent, and that'd suck to be at those partys, and see just how much the Real, dangerous, unafraid, unwanted GOd, is not allowed to interfere with church business, the life of a christian, and certainly not thier 'holiness'. ok, now im rambling!!! I AM RAMBLING !! look at me im so mad im molting...i'm molting...cough.... yeah.
hey this is not a blog against those of you who think drinking is a dirty, sicko thing to do, its just a rant about how hard it is to understand Christ and God, who lives outside of EVEN our boxes of what we want to make right and wrong, much less the boxes of the Pharisees of his day... i mean consider him, if we had him around, and he was some guy we knew, we'd sling all kinds of "don't you think there is a better way to deal with these Pharisees then to keep egging them on and telling them that God will destroy them and all this WOE and HELL stuff, its kind of harsh, where is the love?" at Him. Hey, i'm not saying i wouldn't have the same problems with him, i would, and thats why it bothers me...jesus is too unholy for myself...and i guess his Holiness is real and from the core and a wild, Spirit led thing, and mine is made mostly in the eyes of MAN, so its a do-able thing without the miraculous Spirit, and i am a prick and make others feel guilty cuz they are not me like the GREAT me!!! ehheeheh ha. we are funny people, us 'ones who have met the One Christ, the one who is 'good' and yet still has a hard time fitting in with what we know as good. i just don't think we pretend that Jesus had all these 'reasons' for doing what he did and why we don't have to be so stunned by his actions, 'oh jesus lived in a different world, it wasn't as bad back then to drink cuz the wine was different'', or ''he HAD to.. cuz while he could change water into wine he couldn't change it into purified water so it was safe it drink"...

yeah its funny stuff to think about.... i love all you people who take the time to think with me, i feel soo dumb most days, i cant get a grip on most theology, or 'God stuff' so i appreciate your words.
tony

pics

2005-11-12T17:03:00.000-06:00

Time to be a man

2005-11-12T16:12:00.000-06:00

Yeah, its time for the Creech League, time to get down and dirty or to go home, which is not an option. Its time to find out who you are, if your a man or not (or a woman for than matter, no minding how short the hair may be). its time to stop looking for it in people of the opposite sex (or people of the same sex for that matter) it time to own up to ourselves and to the one who made us, the one who made us who we could be and believes in us. We were made to be the people we were made to be, why are we so scared?
Why do i want a woman to tell me I'm a man? why do i want the men i know and respect to tell me I'm a man? because i missed out on having a dad around to let me know i had become one, so i turned to gals for it, but after all these years, turning to others just doesn't work. neither does living a dangerous life, or sitting on tigers or climbing the great wall or living and preaching in communist China or living and preaching in Ukraine, nor does performing music for people or recording, or producing and recording others, nor does song writing or my art, or basketball, living on clouds and wishes to do want i love to do and be who i was made to be doesn't do it, telling that truth about what and who you love doesn't do it. I guess i need to find out that i am a man from the One who can make me a real man, God. its time for God i guess, and not just serving him and studying and being all passionate and worshiping and all that, i mean time to let him speak to me and let the silence between us talk and say how much i hate him for not letting me know i am a man and that I'm not alone in this world, how much i lack the trust and belief in him to let go of needing to find stupid ways to please myself, how i am so stuck on trusting him and i do trust him and how i feel abandoned by him like i need to find out I'm a man on my own, all the while knowing that only he can tell me that. i know i've searched for it in other places and that has shaped me in a way that keeps me from being a man. its time for the destruction only God can bring. its time for the creation only God can do.